A fresh clean mouth, its amazing how much trouble it can cause you. All those pearly whites shining out for the world to see. They create expectations, don’t kid yourself, people notice them. Is this what you really want? Do you really want to draw this kind of attention to yourself? Can you handle the pressure? Your peers are a relentless bunch, they may want to make you part of that progressive group. That can only lead to new things.
Avoid all this pressure, go a simpler way. Why risk the chance, failure is always easier then working for success. There’s comfort at the bottom, why not guarantee your rightful place. Here are some reasons and tips on how you can avoid some of the pitfalls of good oral hygiene.
1. The opposite sex, they scare you, makes you nervous just thinking about talking to them. What better way to avoid interaction with girls, or boys then to have that nice thick scummy layer visible on your teeth when you open your mouth to speak. What better reason to avoid talking all together.
2. Pressed for time, skipped your lunch, or need an after noon pick me up. All those left over food particles are conveniently stored for you. Just use your tongue to flick a few out, and presto a quick snack to carry you through the day.
3. The expense of proper teeth care is a serious inconvenience. The cost of toothbrush, floss and the endless quantity of toothpaste. Now everyone is using electric toothbrushes. Heck all this stuff is enough to keep you from buying the next few packs of cigarettes. A person has to set priorities you know.
4. Parental conflict, imagine a nose to nose confrontation over some silly thing like taking the family car joy riding with your fellow thirteen year old buddies. If it’s going to happen you might as well be prepared to make it as short as possible. Your breath should stop the argument in its tracks, definitely a win for you.
5. Do you really want to be taking up all this time cleaning your teeth, everyday, for the rest of your life? By stopping now, when your in your thirties, you too can have that little plastic cup on your night stand, with the convenience of storing your teeth. You should be able to get in at least an extra 10 minutes of sleep each morning. This will really add up over your lifetime .
6. Pain, I’m told it builds character. A tooth ache won’t slow you down much, and it will show your made of tougher stuff. Besides, it will eventually go away.
7. Periodontal disease, just another big word adults use to scare you. Like STD’s, it only happens to the other guys, and condoms are for sissy’s. There’s always a way to get around such stuff. Just ask your street wise buddies.
8. Corn on the cob, what’s so great about it, for that matter apples, steak, lets just save a whole bunch of time and send everything through the blender. Supper through a straw. You can eat supper while driving, that can make the difference in getting to the liquor store before it closes. Saved the party, another win for you.
9. What better way to be instantly identified as part of a certain designated group of people then to have few or no teeth. With that picket fence look of every other tooth missing, and that slight stain of tobacco juice running down your chin, people will immediately know your station in life. No pesky questions or wondering if your good enough to associate with them.
10. Do you really want to be bothered when that high class guy pulls alongside you in his Rolls Royce. Rolling the window down to ask you, “Pardon, But do you have any Grey Poupon”. Just driving up he will recognize you as a aficionado of the cheapest store brand on the shelf, and go on his way.
So remember you young adults, show your parents your smarter then they are. Besides when it comes to teeth, ignore them and they’ll go away, you can count on it.