I felt compelled to write this simply to get some answers. I have concerns for todays dating scene. Frankly, from what I can see, I am petrified LOL. In this article I will ask questions and tell you what I have noticed since I have been separated. Kinda makes me not want to do any dating. I certainly am not looking, that is for sure!!
Well first off I have been separated for about six months from an 11 year relationship/marriage. Yes, we lived together that long as well. In other words I AM CLUELESS to the dating game, because we never dated. I moved in a couple weeks after we started dating when I was 17 (and naive). Before that I had one true boyfriend that I loved and we dated (and lived together) for a year. Yes, I was 14 and he lived with us (don’t ask, I know it’s strange). He was my first boyfriend. I did go on a couple dates and one fling when I was about 15-16 but nothing serious. It was NOTHING like what I know dating to be now and days.
Over hearing girls talk at work, I heard one talk about how she needs a different man for a different season. I was thinking, OMG is she serious??? The more she talked about it, the more I knew she was serious. I was flabbergasted, to say the least. I guess because when I get into a relationship, I never think of it ending. I think of it as something that always will be, regardless. I take my relationships seriously. The hearts of people are nothing to mess with. I know because I don’t like mine to be messed with. Anyways, I guess there are a lot of people who are very promiscuous. Weird to me, that is for sure.
Don’t get me wrong, dating is a good thing. When it goes to the next level the game is over, geesh. I don’t think that I could date different people even. I feel this way because I need to focus on one person and take them seriously. Please tell me, is this a good thing, to be this way? Why?
Then there was another girl at work who said that she was tired of playing housewife and wanted to test the waters again. Okay there is really nothing wrong with that, but then again, she is living with a boyfriend whom she says good things about. Selfish? On the other hand, it is so sad considering she talks about being pregnant. She has a child by another man already. Is there no dignity anymore? I am baffled. Is this normal now and days?
I understand that not all relationships were meant to be, obviously. I do give my all and would never even consider leaving my baby’s father to ‘test the waters’. Would you? When I leave, it is because there are irreconcilable differences and there is nothing left to give or receive in that relationship. I could never just up and walk away for selfish reasons.
I had another friend ask me questions about my marriage and I told her everything about the whys and how’s, etc. She said ‘girl we need to get you to loosen up’ ‘you need to date around some’, as she looks around to find a candidate LOL. I said ‘why’? ‘Why should I drag a heart into the middle of my mess’? That is not fair and that is what screwed my marriage up from the get-go. She looked at me as if to say, ‘girl whatcha talkin about ‘another heart’ LOL. I guess hearts aren’t involved anymore in dating, or is it? I don’t know. Like I said, if someone dates me, I play for keeps. I may be old fashioned, so be it.
So do people take others for granted or is it just a big game anymore? Is it all about sex and money? The dating game is something that I need to learn. Do I want to? Maybe not. I am definitely not ready yet. I don’t know if I will ever be ready. Frankly, I may never even go looking. I do know it will be meant to be when it happens. I am that confident, he is out there, when the time is right! I am not down with the games, nor do I have the time. Please give me feedback and let me know if I am normal LOL