Does your husband or significant other prefer video games or computer games over your company? Do you have to drag him away from his controller? When you first get together with your partner, you will notice that their attention is solely on you. That means that their friends and even their sports may take a back seat as they try to spend as much time with you as they can. They want to please and impress you. But as your relationship progresses, you may see that your husband or significant other then starts to spend more time playing video or computer games. It can be difficult to communicate with your partner when they are engrossed in their latest “mission”. When people mention the term “gaming widow” It is viewed as little more than a joke, but for those who hardly get two words out of their husband within a five hour period, it can lead to communication problems and it stops being a laughing matter. This article will offer some suggestions on how to cope if you are a gaming widow.
Some women find that the only way that they can maintain their sanity is to actually join in with their partner’s game. Whether it is a good idea or not to join in depends on several factors. It will not suit everyone to join in with a game that they find violent or inappropriate in any other way. Others simply cannot sit for extended periods of time, as the screen strains their eyes. But some women are quite happy to join in with golf or fishing games, or to watch their partner as he plays.
Arrange “us” time before the game begins
Before your partner sits down in front of the TV or computer screen; try to arrange for some “us” time. It is usually best to do this beforehand, as it will be difficult to get their attention once they become engrossed in their computer game or video game. Gaming widows will know full well that to interrupt during a “mission” will only earn them the displeasure of their partner. Gamers do not like to be interrupted and may respond impatiently with “What did you say? Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something”, or words to that effect. Or they may ignore their partner altogether. But if there is an allotted time slot that has been set aside, then gamers are usually more likely to respond well once that time is up. Finding a comfortable balance is the key.
Eat together at mealtimes
Even gamers have to eat, but they can very easily lose track of time and miss meals because they have allowed themselves to become so caught up with their game. It is important to make sure that your partner continues to eat, so before they start playing their video or computer games, tell them that you will be preparing dinner at 6:00pm and that you expect them to eat when you serve it not after it has become cold. This should get their attention, not shouting at them after you have finished cooking to get to the table. That would be the same as treating your partner as a child.
Indulge in your own interests
You cannot live your whole life around the pursuits and interests of your husband or significant other. If you spend the entire Saturday waiting around for your partner to finish their game so you can go out together, you may be wasting your time. Rather than hang on waiting, arrange for time to do the things that you enjoy doing and you will find that you do not resent the computer or video games as much. Activities could include going out on a girlie shopping trip with your friends, a trip to the gym or reading.
Enjoy the time you spend together
Going on about how much you hate video or computer games will not stop your partner from playing them. It will only annoy him and make him view you as a nag. When you are together, make the most of the time you are together and commend him on the things you love about him, rather than focus on his flaws. If you must talk about his gaming habits, bring up the topic in a respectful manner and inform him of exactly what it is that you dislike. Is it the fact that you feel ignored? Do you want to see your partner take better care of themselves by eating more regularly? Would you like to spend more time with them on Saturdays? If you address a specific concern they will see that you are not totally against what they enjoy doing. You are simply showing that you care. Issuing an ultimatum will not work, so do not try this!
Gaming widows do have valid concerns when it comes to the amount of time that their partner spends in front of the TV or computer screen. But she can help herself and her partner if she is tactful in the way that she addresses her concerns by speaking respectfully and kindly to him. A lot of issues can be cleared up by approaching their partner in this way.