After long and exhaustive research on this topic, almost 60 whole seconds worth, I discovered Barack Obama is a front – a created entity that is not what it seems. In my research I discovered shocking information. My sources must remain known only to me, as any journalist must protect their sources. Here’s what I found.
I was reviewing White House transcripts and I kept seeing references made by the President using phrases like “We have to nip this. Nip this in the bud!” And there was more.
The President kept referring to Rahm Emanuel as “Ang,” and as we all know “Ang” was Barney’s pet name for boss and best friend, Sheriff Andy Taylor. There were repeated request by the President of Emanuel to “lemme me carry my bullet again Ang. I promise I’ll keep it in my pocket, right here Ang.” The transcript implied Barney, errr I mean the President patted his left breast pocket as he made that statement.
And there were constant mentions of “Thelma Lou,” and as we all know Thelma Lou was Barney’s one and only true love. As well the President kept referring to Emanuel’s spouse as “Ms. Crump,” so take that for what it’s worth.
There were tons of mentions of Opie & Aunt Bee, as well as constant reference to someone named Otis Campbell and an apparent alcohol consumption problem Mr. Campbell has. Poor Mr. Campbell. And for some reason they keep talking about some little hick town in North Carolina called “Mt. Pilot,” and as all non-geographically challenged know, there is indeed a Pilot Mountain in the region “Ang & Barney” keep referring to. Curious, no?
As I delved deeper into the spirited transcripts I was shocked by what I found. There was a lot of talk about some “to do” going on up on “Main Street,” discussions about going to “see a picture show at the Bijou,” and Floyd, the barber next door.
Apparently Earth-shattering events occur in this ‘burg “Ang & Barney” hail from too! Emma Watson’s cakes & pies keep winning at the County Fair over Aunt Bee’s baked goods, and some chick named Clara Edwards makes better pickles than Aunt Bee as well. This was shocking information.
And the place they are from must be tiny too because there is only one place in town to get gasoline or car repairs, and that place is run by two folks who must in some way be related – Gomer and Goober Pyle. What the Hell is a Gomer, or a Goober, for that matter? Whatever, apparently they can pump gas at the “filling station” and can fix up your ride.
But the real telling aspect of all this is the inference that this “Barney Fife” guy is the real one running the show. Seems Barney is always out enforcing the laws about jay-walking, parking violations, and of course the crossing guard stuff is way important too! Andy, the “high sheriff” as Barney always calls him, is always in the office letting people off for their criminal infractions, despite Barney’s best efforts to keep the Cosa Nostra out of Mayberry.
In concluding my research I have reached some conclusions. For some reason the real brains of this operation seems to be the “Rahm Emanuel/Andy Taylor” dude, and the President/Barney Fife is the willing idiot. For some reason Barney Fife has been pushed to the fore as the brains, when any even cursory examination of the transcripts, and the current facts of political machinations as they are being played out before our eyes, there is indeed something rotten in Denmark, or more precisely, Washington, DC.
Based on my best estimate, this “Andy Taylor/Rahm Emanuel” character is not suitable to be the face of the cabal. Seems he’s a little too “Pitbull” for an entire nation to embrace. What better way to ameliorate the effects of such a reality than to have Barney Fife as the face pushed forward?
Do any not agree that to pull off all we currently see and hear requires someone more intelligent than a guy who can’t even be trusted to carry a loaded .38 caliber Smith & Wesson? And only ONE bullet at that? Hell, I carry a .45 loaded to the brim with monster 200 grain hollow-points. And my weapon is locked and loaded. But Fife can’t even be trusted to carry his only bullet in his pocket? No way Barney is actually running the deal.
Methinks Andy Taylor is really the boss, and Barney is the willing idiot. Of course, to be fair willing is prolly a little to generous. More like a dupe actually. Barney sure is good at reading what he’s told to say. I mean, we’ve all seen his performance at the teleprompter, right? This guy is as slick as 10 grit sand paper. On the other hand, this “Andy Taylor/Rahm Emanuel” cat is a shifty and crafty operator if ever there were one! To describe him accurately all one need is remember the Andy Taylor/Rahm Emanuel character is truly as slick as snot on a doorknob.
Fear for our nation folks. The inmates are running the asylum, and the two head inmates are up to no good. Our only saving grace is that these two are so incompetent they keep tripping over their own tongues. What dolts!