You gaze at the calendar and realize that soon you will be aging another year. Another gray hair to pluck, another wrinkle to try to fill, and maybe even more body parts that need to be lifted back into position!
You shop around for anything that will take care of these new horrors, so that maybe you won’t be afraid to stand in front of the mirror. The clerk asks to see your driver’s license for whatever reason, and without thinking, you hand it over.
She brings to your attention that your license is about to expire! It’s bad enough that you have to acknowledge the fact that you are getting older, with body parts being pulled downward by gravity. Now, you have to go to the BMV and renew your license! We all know what this means!
A new picture!
For guys, it is no big deal. They comb their hair and that is it. They realize that no matter what they do, their picture will look like one of two things. Either they will look like they just got their mug shot for the local jail, or they will have the look of a psychotic! Especially if they are wearing glasses and the light hits just right. A pervert in the making!
For ladies, it is another story. We will work for hours in front of the mirror. Of course, this will be the day that it is very humid, or very windy. We will try to put on our makeup so that we don’t look like the walking dead. Unfortunately, the humidity will cause the makeup to run off and you have to keep redoing it.
Your hair, instead of looking bouncy and full of life, will be flatter than a pancake. The other possibility will be that the humidity will have your normally tame curls looking like one big ball of fuzz. To top it off, you step outside and the wind blows it everywhere! Now, you look like something out of Dr. Seuss!
You finally arrive at the BMV. After answering all the questions about illegal aliens, drug addictions, and twitches, it is time to check the old eyesight. As you step up to the testing machine, you pray your astigmatism will hold off just long enough to read the numbers and letters. You breathe a sigh of relief because you actually did see the flashing lights! For once, it was not a hallucination!
Now comes the best part – posing for the picture! They have you sit in a chair and ask you to lean back and look at the light. The big question – do you smile with teeth or without? Are you allowed to smile? Did you blink? When can you breathe?
After a few minutes, you finally get the joy of seeing your photo for the next two to five years! You stare in horror at this “thing” that is supposed to be you! You are even tempted to beg them to make you another, even if you have to pay for it! Well, you console yourself; at least it was not like the one when you were nine months pregnant! Now you only look five!