So there are a few of us out there: The girls that CAN’T STAND other girls. Drama is a NO-NO and therefore, being friends with a group of guys sounds SO MUCH MORE APPEALING than having a group of girls accept the title of “My Friends.”
But, these guys we call our friends, are they genuinely friends?…. or is there an ulterior motive?
I’ll use my personal experience to provide some insight and we’ll see what conclusion we arrive at:
All of my friends (and I do seriously mean ALL) are male. There is limited drama because there’s no “you gave me a dirty look,” or “you were checking out my man!” etc ridiculous dramatic confrontations. However, with my guy friends, there IS still drama.
– First of all, it seems like anytime I start dating someone or develop an interest in any guy at all, my friends automatically go into defense mode:EXTREME. I’m talking OVER-the-TOP slamming the guy on his looks, his friends, his hobbies, his job….basically anything that could possibly be criticized.
– Secondly, my friends always seem to start making more comments than usual about “hot girls” walking by, or who they are having intimate relations with complete with very elaborate details…as though it is a competition and they are trying to one up me
– Finally, there is the pissed off silent treatment…. you know what I’m talking about ladies. It is that situation where you are with your guy friend and you tell him “So I went one a date with [insert name here]” and he goes into total girl mode and gives you the silent treatment, maybe even pouts a little.
So, these friends... are they really FRIENDS, or are they trying to get close to you so that they can date you? You know, friend first boyfriend second mentality? Typically – it’s good to be friends with someone first (in a very vague use of the word) and then date after you have a friendly foundation laid. However, using a friendship as a misleading stair step into a relationship : totally uncool.
So girls = drama, which is why it makes sense to be friends with guys. However, as you can see from the above scenarios, guys can be drama too. Another perk to having guys as friends instead of women : FIGHTING.
Guys get drunk, punch each other, and the next day are back to being friends and just laugh it off. Women fight DIRTY in every sense of the world. Females fight in a physical sense, yes….but much of the fighting between women is much worse than suffering a black eye or a bruise. I don’t know why (and I have been guilty of doing it)…. but if you piss a woman off, be prepared for the rumors to fly. Women lash out and make every attempt to make people hate you by starting/spreading the most horrendous lies (or truths). With social networking so readily accessible via the Internet, WATCH OUT!! It is WAY too easy for women to ruin lives now…. honestly, I think I’d rather suffer a black eye than have to endure the long journey of incriminating photos posted for the world to see, or some nasty rumor causing people to look at me weird, wondering if the label is truth or not. – –
Now, males make great friends because they are honest (for the most part). I mean, if you ask the infamous question “Does this make me look fat?” …. 90% will never say “YES.” But, most will tell you if an outfit is too revealing, giving the wrong message, flattering or not..etc. Also, males make great workout buddies – because unlike with women…it is not a competition to see who can work out more, burn more calories, get more numbers…etc. However, sometimes your guy friend will purposely convince you to wear something totally unflattering, or change out of a super sexy outfit, convincing you that you look bad in it – just in efforts to keep you to himself and prevent you from receiving those stares from other men.
So back to the ulterior motive thing : honestly, as many friends as I’ve had. . . I still don’t even know. I can honestly say that there is ONE GUY FRIEND that I have that there has never been any romantic interest, he has never gotten jealous for me dating someone, and we are still cool. However, out of all the guy friends I have ever had, I can only say that about one. ONE. The rest have all left, either because I started dating someone…or some other ridiculous reason.