It may seem untimely to discuss Christmas decorations at this time of the year. I do have a grievance and hopefully this matter can be put to rest shortly. My wish it that all Christmas decorations from now on will be tastefully done displays of modern day lighting in bright colors. I do not ever again want to see plastic Christmas decorations, those that I lovingly refer to as “Plastic People”.
I would like to meet the guy who came up with the idea of making those cheap looking, plastic Christmas lawn decorations. You know the ones I mean. The decorations your grandfather might have put on display back in the 50’s. Those same decorations are still alive and well and living in my town. I refer to them as “Plastic People” and every neighborhood has at least one yard decorated to the 9th degree with ugly Plastic People.
I have never seen a brand new one up close, so I have no idea if they come faded or they start life colorful, but somehow over time and space fade to ugly. The Santa that I prefer to see is clad in bright red and snowy white. Plastic People Santas are always dull pink and sickish gray. This must be confusing to a child. I’m an adult and have a hard time making the connection between colorful Jolly Ol’Saint Nick and ugly, faded Plastic People Santa.
Plastic People also include (by my definition) objects, shapes and forms. Plastic Christmas trees, I assume once bright green, are now displayed boldly on front lawns in faded green. The color more closely resembles celery sticks.
Candy canes of faded pink and grayish white are strung together to light a walkway. Why they are never lit up? Once Plastic People reach a certain age do the bulbs dim and fade away as the colors do? Do the electrical cords evaporate? I have never seen a display of Plastic People that have lights glowing softly from within.
White grayish angles fly over yards appearing more like Halloween ghosts. I would assume different batches of colors age differently over the years. The plastic nativity set is a real sore spot. I think it is an insult to the reason for season to display a Plastic People nativity set. The poor wise men are always toppled over on the ground. You can’t tell Mary from Joseph as they are all one color. If there had been any tones to indicate eyes, lips, hair those colors are all faded to something resembling dirt.
I also would assume that in days gone by Plastic People came with instructions that have been misplaced along the years. There must be a way to insure that they will stand up for more than 10 minutes. Ninety percent of plastic people do not stand up. Is there some way to fill their little bottoms with sand in order to allow poor pink and gray Santa his day in the sun without looking as if he has been used for bowling practice?
One way to overcome more deterioration of Plastic People would be to put them away, preferably for good. If one must display such horrid examples on the front lawn, please have the decency to remove them by New Year’s Eve. More upsetting even than seeing them at Christmas is seeing them on Easter Sunday while the kiddies fill their baskets with colored Easter eggs. The Plastic People pale in comparison to those boldly colored eggs.
This is probably not a politically correct topic and I am sure I will offend some with this tirade, but I could not hold it back any longer. Spring is coming and that bring Easter eggs and yard sales popping up like weeds. Now is the time, seize the opportunity, put all your Plastic People Christmas decorations in a big box and write “free” on the box. Someone will take them, hopefully to a different county and they will be gone from my line of view. If plastic lawn decorations still remain in your possession after the yard sale, please donate them. A good choice would be to donate them to the local dumpster or land fill or perhaps to the Plastic People Museum. However you dispose of them I say – be gone Plastic People, be gone.