A relationship in college can be the best time of your life; you have some of the freest time to be around your partner that you will ever get. Unfortunately many college relationships end badly, and if it is your first break up in college you will often not know what to do when the relationship ends. As a college junior I have dated a few girls and have found it difficult to deal with a break up, especially when you see the person nearly every day on campus or in classes. The rest of the semester and even the rest of the year can be delicate territory especially when drinking and partying is involved. The last thing you want to do is see the person that you cared about “hooking up” with another person at a party, or see them holding hands with someone you don’t know on the quad. All relationships are different, but this article is going to look at what to do and what not to do after a college relationship is ended.
1. Have Your Own Space
The relationship ended for a reason; most likely it did not just come out of thin air. Give yourself time on your own to reflect on what happened to sour the relationship, this can be helpful to move on or make amends. The relationship may not be entirely over; many couples reconcile and get back together.
2. Go Out With Friends
Friends will be your biggest ally in dealing with a breakup. Do not sit in solitude just because the fabrics of your life have been altered by this experience; this can often lead to depression and more heartache. Friends can be great to get your mind off the incident and in turn can make you feel much better.
No one is too big or tough to have heartache over a serious relationship, whether you cry in front of your friends or alone it always helps. Do not suppress emotions, this will lead to poor grades and you can become bitter down the road.
My hardest college break up I was a wreck; I had no idea how to get over it, I knew I should go out but I wasn’t ready to, even with friends. I turned to exercise, I in turn lost 30 lbs and now I have some mean abs. Exercise reduces stress and will make you healthier; running was my medicine since it got my mind off the break up.
1. Drunk Text/Call Your Ex
This happens to all of us, don’t pretend this hasn’t happened to you. Calling or texting your ex can bring up the harsh reality that you two are no longer dating, and will do you absolutely no good. Nothing good can come from this so don’t even think about it!
2. Have a Rebound
Having a rebound may seem like a good idea right? Find another person to fill the void lost. The harsh reality is that you are not emotionally ready to handle this after a devastating break up. Rebounds can hurt the other person involved; don’t hurt someone else just because you feel sorry for yourself.
3. Listen to Sad Music For Weeks On End
As much as we do not want to admit this one, at one point or another we have all turned on our iPods with sad music to remind of us of the break up. No one is feeling sorry for you; do not make yourself hurt anymore. Listen to uplifting music that has encouragement for the future so that moving on can be easier.
4. Date Right Away
Even if you feel like you can move on quickly sometimes it is important to take a break for a little while. Dating right away will lead someone on which will in turn hurt them down the road if you are carrying any emotional baggage from the previous relationship.
5. Be Friends With Your Ex
Almost always being friends with your ex immediately after a break up can be a very bad idea for the both of you. The feelings will still be there and the friendship will be very strained at best. When your ex starts dating again you may get jealous which can lead to a lot of negativity.
College dating is different than almost any other dating atmosphere; the times you spent together will be reflected often on campus and with your mutual friends. Seeing your ex significant other can be awkward at best and will be trying on your emotions. Do not make these common mistakes, save yourself the heartache.