After a couple of dates your potential partner starts her barrage of questions. You are a little shocked and not feeling that comfortable answering her questions because you are afraid that what you want will be completely different than what she wants. If you answer the wrong way she may run in the other direction.
When a woman starts asking you serious questions about marriage, the amount of income you have, how many children you want, where you live, what you do for a living or any number of other questions she is fishing for information. If you think these are idle “chit chat” pieces think again. She wants to know if you are a good match for her.
In today’s society people are very relaxed about asking pointed questions. We are a liberated society where much of what we do is exposed for the world to see. We are also a much more casual society where people dress in casual clothing, act informally and are at times rude.
Questions that are very pointed in the beginning of a relationship are still considered rude. No one wants to feel as though they are being evaluated, summed up and compared against another person. You are worthy just the way you are and developing relationships takes some time.
Let us say that each of us had a list of our features just like when we purchase a product. Obviously you would only want to date those with the best features listed on the card. Unfortunately, people are more complex than that. For example, you may make 40 k this year but 100 k in 4 years. You might have something they don’t like about you now but this may turn into something they may adore. We would reject a lot of good candidates.
It is not necessary to give out all this information in the beginning of a relationship or to subject yourself to the aggravation of being rejected because you don’t fit into their narrow concept of the “ideal man”. You have lots of good qualities they may not be looking at.
When a person asks you those pointed questions you can either lie or dodge the question. Lying will likely make you look untrustworthy in the future so I would suggest a dodge. There are many ways to dodge the question while still indicating your interest to the other person.
For example, I make a descent income but when someone I don’t know that well asks me how much I earn I respond, “10 cents above minimum wage but I’m still waiting for that big raise”. I then chuckle so that they know I’m joking. Many times they will also chuckle or grab my arm and say “sure you do”.
When dodging those questions use a little joking and a diversion tactic. If they ask you how many kids you want respond “I was thinking about 30 to 40 because I think they are so much fun to make. How many do you want?” Not only have you dodge their question and diverted them you also now got information about them. They aren’t the any wiser.