I was doing a few loads of laundry this morning and noticed the warning sticker on it. The warning sticker says, “Do not reach inside until all movie parts have stopped”. It made me laugh because I could not imagine a fool actually doing this, but hey man it takes all kinds right? My common sense tells me that some one must have actually did this and was hurt hence the company put the warning on there to save them self from other lawsuits.
It got me thinking and since I needed a break from housework I began to look around my own house for warning labels. What can I say it was 4 am and everyone else was sleeping soundly?
There is a warning on my curling iron, which says for external use only. That is one warning I do not even want to know why it was prompted. I mean sure it is the right shape kind of if you enjoy long thin things but heated come on? Oh, man it takes all kinds.
There’s one attached to my iron that says and I am not kidding, ‘do not iron clothes while you are wearing them’. I am thinking to my self that I hope they understood what was causing the pain quickly. Therefore, they did not give them self’s 3rd degree burns down an entire leg or something.
When we are in elementary school, we were taught never to mix electric and water so I cannot understand why there is a warning label on my blow dryer about using it in the tub. Did someone actually try to dry their hair while sitting in the tub or what?
Food and beverage!
Look at McDonalds and the other fast food places; it is commonplace to have the words printed on cups saying caution the contents may be hot. I am sure we all know that coffee is hot, but for the life of me, I cannot imagine the fool who assumed it was cold, put it between their legs, and hit a bump thus dumping it in their crotch. Then they turn around and sue the company for their stupidity?
It is not just hot labels on hot foods, but also labels on frozen food. I noticed a label on a frozen dinner I took to work one night that said contents are frozen, heat before eating. I am thinking to myself, this one should be a no brainier. I am wondering if this one was prompted because some one tried to eat the food out of the box or did they fling it at another brainless person and knock him or her unconscious?
If you look on a bag of microwave popcorn there are warnings on it after the bag expands upon popping that say caution contents are hot. I am thinking to myself, everyone knows if you take something out of the microwave it is going to be hot, but must be not everyone knows that.
Fido and other pets
There is a warning on flea shampoo for dogs that reads do not feed to fish. Come on man that is cruelty to animals. Flea shampoo is also dangerous to kittens or puppies under the age of 3 months. Before this warning came out my neighbor put some on a momma cat and then the allowed the cat to go to her babies. Most of the babies died, but one survived and it was severely handicapped. Poor kitten could not walk normal, but it did survive into adulthood and had babies that were normal
There is now a warning on microwaves that says it is not intended to dry animals. That is sad that someone would actually try that. Let your pets dry naturally or gives them a gently towel rubbing.
Babies, toddlers and the rest of us.
I am saying right here and now there should be a label on microwaves about not being suitable for chasing demons out of innocent babies either. Yes, seem like for the past few years some fools have put babies in there.
How many of use parents have used those portable strollers? Did you ever notice the warning label that says to remove the baby before folding the stroller? Imagine all the innocent babies getting hurt because of their parents who did not have the common sense to remove them first.
There are labels printed on all types of bags about suffocation and warning us not to put bags over our heads. I seen a body bag that say do not use if there is a pulse! OH, wow cannot imagine that one either. Body bags are not made for shelter, or protection they are meant for the bodies of the dearly departed.
The wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly, is what the warning label on a superman Halloween costume read. The sad part of this was it is on a costume that is a 2t, which means the average 2 year old wears it. I do not know of any two year olds who can read. Did a two year old try to fly with it on or did a well meaning yet foolish parent think it would give the child magical powers?
There is a warning on a bottle of Midol which says do not use if you have prostate problems. The last I knew Midol was for menstruation cramps which only females have and a prostrate is an organ only a man has. Go figure that out.
Do not attempt to stop blade with your hand, is a warning label on a chainsaw. Can you imagine the fool who tried that one?
Dumb people are everywhere.
There is a couple in my hometown who sues over the stupidest things. Like the husband was working at a chicken farm and even though he know the waste product of the chicken was slippery he wore the shoes without treads to slip on the floor, he fell and got hurt. He sued the company and it went under. His next job was a cab driver, he over charged fares, was rude to customers and took the cab to his home for illegal purposes and then tried to sue when he got fired. He lost the case but is known around the town for this very thing. He is the type to stand on a broken ladder to change a broken light bulb just for the money in it. He may come west to a town near you so watch out. There should be a warning attached to him, as he is a hazard to everything he touches.
I know warnings are put on things because of dumb people had used the products in a manner for which the warning was prompted. Where the common sense is that God gave us? Perhaps some people do not have the good sense God gave a goose but hey, that is their problem and they need to be educated.
The creator of this article wishes to add a disclaimer to this article that I am not responsible for any idiot trying any of these things mentioned in this article. You are on your own if you do something stupid as the result of reading this article.