In my never ending quest for the best burger in New York City, I was presented with a shot in the arm, this night. Dreary, wistful, through the haze of a light rain; standing on the corner of 34th Street and 10th Avenue there it was; in large and impressive fashion through the double deck windows of the popular chain which occupies this busy corner intersection:
“Angus Third Pounder”
I had seen Angus beef in the supermarket, I’d read about Angus beef in the newspapers, I’d tasted Angus burgers on my burger quest; I was sure that Angus beef was nothing like the flimsy frozen pads that typically adorn the burgers of a place like McDonald’s! Still, it so appeared; full red onion, green, leafy lettuce, plump, full tomato, an elongated, figure-eight looking pickle, full, plump roll; and that thick, scrumptious beef.
While I had every reason to be suspect, I also had an obligation to give it a shot. And regardless of my obligatory duties, it was well past dinner time and my fiancée awaited my return with that day’s kill. She had dozed off with visions of Angus Burgers, I’m sure, dancing in her head. So I acquiesced and despite the disclaimer which I’d spotted on the two story banner as I passed through the entrance (“Angus Burgers are 6oz prior to cooking” – which didn’t sound as impressive as the banner looked; but what did I know?) I entered the restaurant and returned with two new different Angus Third Pounder burgers for my sweetie and me to try.
Angus beef allegedly originated in Scotland in the 1800’s. What the beef basically amounts to is higher amounts of fat entwined with muscle, giving the beef the look of a marble before it’s cooked but also, strangely enough, bouncing around in your mouth, as a cow chews its cud; this McDonald’s brand of Angus has the added benefit of bouncing around in your belly, like a marble in the crevasse of your upset stomach, for hours after first breaking down in the netherworld of your own cud.
But for once I don’t blame the fast food industry for this anomaly; I just can’t jive on the Angus beef. I’d had the same post burger feeling of malaise back when I’d reviewed the Angus beef burger I’d had previously. I didn’t write about it but the feeling brought me right back to that same place.
I was puzzled. My fiancée was grateful for dinner, but unimpressed with the display from the Angus. I later phoned a dietician friend of mine and queried as to all the fuss over “Angus” beef; she laughed so hard at my obvious duping from the American Advertising machine that I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
I’m sure that she’s still laughing even as I write this article some hours later. Don’t be taken for a fool, as was I, over the Angus revolution; it’s all just a load of bull!