I recently read this: Happiness = Reality – Expectations
I see where this one is coming from. Please understand that I think a degree of accountability and some expectations need to be in place to keep things moving smoothly. People should live up to their responsibilities and also take responsibility for their own actions. However there is a bit of truth in that statement. Many times when you (sadly “you” tends to be a girl but both genders do this) put expectations on something, you are setting yourself up for a fall. No matter how much your remind yourself that it might not happen, you already have it set in your mind that this is the way it is going to be. When it doesn’t happen, then you still have that sense of loss. I’m not implying we should all go with the “Say Anything” mantra of if you start off depressed you will almost always be pleasantly surprised. Wallowing in self pity and constantly setting the bar low is not a way to live either. That leads to apathy, and while all of us go there from time to time, it isn’t a way to live your life. It is good to have goals and to work towards something, but we need to take steps to achieve that goal in a realistic timeline. Yes, everything might fall into place and you could land the perfect book deal the first time out, but in reality you will probably have to work at it for months if not years. This isn’t a depressing thing, it is just the reality we work in. You don’t have to give up your dreams. You do not have to throw away what you want. However, you do not have to be miserable while trying to attain them. So set the goal, assess the situation, and realistically plan for your future. Take everything one step at a time and try to not over think it. Yeah, I know easier said than done (I am the queen of over thinking).
Not to mention expectations can cause issues between people. Most misunderstandings stem from expectations. One person has a certain expectation of another person. However, that other person might not know that expectation or know the rules to play by. It is hard to play the game if you do not know the rules. Then we get mad when they break the rules or do not meet our expectation. Now can you see how we would be happier with out expectations? Hello, this is the core of most “stupid girl moments!”
I’m not doing so well with this at the moment. I’ve had a few very frustrating days at work…mainly because I expect people to either do their jobs or read directions. On the one hand, people should be held accountable for their job responsibilities, and I should not have to do things I am not authorized to do. On the other hand, I know that our students and my sanity suffer each time it happens. I do my job to the best of my ability and to best serve the students (and I am by far not perfect. We all have our moments.), but it seems not everyone does. Really our process is pretty seamless and student friendly if everyone does his or her job. However, it doesn’t happen. People who need to see certain departments usually do not make it past the receptionist. If they do, I’m not sure if it just poor training or not wanting to be the bad guy or whatever, things usually are messed up. We are lucky if their paperwork is correct and even if it is all of the questions that should have been answered before they get to me are still up in the air. The issue is that it is inconvenient to the student. Students have to wait longer while I try and sort things out. I may not have the answers to their questions. I may have to do some advising leg work to complete their paperwork. If there are other students needing to check in or out, they are stuck waiting. This leaves me to find the happy medium, and make it as positive as I can. If I keep continuing to expect them to do the process correctly, I will keep being disappointed and frustrated. However, I do not want to do all melodrama overboard with the whole “Woe to me. They never do their job.” It is figuring out how to not let it get to me without getting myself into trouble is a challenge. Still it isn’t fun. It is a little messy, but what can you do? I’m just trying to not take it so seriously.