Did you ever go trick-or-treating as a little kid, only to have some big bully demand all of your candy? I didn’t, but when I got home my brother hogged all the good stuff and left me with the safety-pops. I have heard of other kids getting ambushed and having their candy stolen. It is probably less common today, because many parents patrol with their kids on Halloween.
Nonetheless Halloween Bandits can steal more than just your candy. They can steal your pumpkins. Halloween Bandits will steal the bowl of candy you leave at the door while you go trick-or-treating. They will steal your yard ornaments. Halloween Bandits would even steal your still if you had one. (But I digress.).
The following are some common Halloween pranks that teenagers, and some adults, think are hysterical. I’ve also included a few tips to guard against them.
Blowing up Jack ‘o Lanterns with hairspray has been happening as long as we’ve had VO5. If you light your bewitching, pumpkin face with a candle, beware that you may have little more than pumpkin innards by morning. On your porch, in your yard, on the balcony, it doesn’t matter where your pumpkin is V05 has good spraying distance (and incredible hold, despite the weather…go ahead, try it on that wig).
In order to avoid a blown up pumpkin someone in China, yes China, has developed a little light that runs on a little AAA battery, made in China. It’s like a tiny flashlight, candle. No flame means no explosion. These can be readily found at Wal-Mart, CVS, and other local department stores. If you can’t find the light designed to go inside the pumpkin, tear down the peel ‘n stick light (as seen on T.V.) from your closet and put it in the pumpkin for the night. You’ll be glad you did. (Please do not allow your children to handle or suck on lights or batteries made in China.)
Black Hooded Hoodlums Jumping from Bushes Scaring Toddlers.
I’ve never tried it, but it must be the epitome of fun to make a toddler or infant cry on Halloween. It has to be, because every Halloween a bunch of Jack……..o lanterns dress completely in black and hide waiting to scare passers-by. Warn your child ahead of time that when certain people reach puberty they lose their mind. In the end, they will turn out okay, but try not to let them ruin your Halloween by acting like a Jack……in-the-box.
Many of the hooded hoodlums fancy themselves vampires. Often they’ve applied fake blood that can never be seen in the dark of night (Yet Wal-Mart and China continue to manufacture and sell it by the millions). These are not real vampires and should not be feared. If you, as the adult, are a little scared, wear a crucifix. However, please be aware that all real vampires are in Transylvania bidding on the original Dracula’s castle (See msn.com, I can’t report everything). Further, if there are vampires and witches in your neighborhood the last thing they are interested in is scaring kids. They are chanting and worshipping satan on their high holy day. Trick-or-treaters are harmless to them, and they to trick-or-treaters.
If you have older teens, or extra adults to take the kids out for candy, you can ambush the would-be hooded hoodlums yourself. Dress in black (The only risk you run is being arrested as a terrorist). Load your air-soft pellet gun with the softest pellets available and stake out the neighborhood protecting trick-or-treaters. (Watch for cars, they can’t see you dressed in black!)
When you spot one of the hooded Halloween Bandits pop them a couple of times in the………..ask me later. Pop them a couple of times where it counts.
You know I’m not talking Easter eggs. Some kids get a thrill out of egging your home and/or car during the night. Now, the fun has been turned up a notch thanks to kiddie technology. Halloween Bandits own paint guns, and despite the illegality of defacing a home or car, they aren’t afraid to use them. This is a particular problem in our area year round.
First of all, take heart, the kids tossing eggs are probably going to end up spending the rest of their lives at Waffle House cooking them. As for the paint guns, unless you plan on sitting up all night, your home may be hit. Even if you are outside, you could get hurt. Don’t risk it. If your house is paintballed call the police. This goes beyond fun and pranks.
Back in the olden days (when we trick-or-treated for acorns) you could have fun without fearing being shot. You could hide in the yard and egg the cars that egged you. That isn’t even safe anymore. Someone could be seriously injured.
If you get egged, go out in the morning, scrape as much as you can off the car and house, and make scrambled egg sandwiches before your kids start begging for Snickers for breakfast.
30 Year Olds Dressed as Hobos Who Come Trick-or-Treating with a Pillow Case at 12 am.
If you have never experienced this, you may be looking at this page like I’m crazy. I have seen it all my life (bear in mind I live in the South). You get home from trick or treating, or the local church festival. You had a great time; everyone is tired and has a belly ache. No one wants a bath. They’d rather sleep in their clown make-up. No one wants to brush their teeth for fear the Sugar Daddys have loosened their permanent teeth. Nonetheless you are home, you get everyone settled and ready to hit the sack yourself and the doorbell rings.
Not wanting to short a kid who got a late start you stumble to the door in your P.J.’s and clown make-up, and pick up the kids candy bags. (You’ve been out for a while, especially since you ate all the Kit-Kats on the way home.)
You open the door and before you grins a woman in pigtails, with mascara freckles, wearing overalls. Beside her stands a man dressed like a hobo with a stick and a pillow case. He blows a puff of cigar in your face and says, “Trick or treat.” What do you do?
If you are kind, and you probably are, you go ahead, and give them a handful of candy out of your kids’ bag (because you’re taking the rest of it to work tomorrow anyway). If you are tired, ill, and do not believe that anyone over the age of, oh 21, should be trick-or-treating, you give them what they ask for, a trick.
In this case, reach in the dog’s basket and pull out the biggest handful of kibble or biscuits you can manage. Drop them graciously into the bag, bid them goodnight, and close the door. Peek out the door just enough to say, “You might want to try those now, my mom made them herself. Go ahead, they are great.” Quickly shut and bolt the door. Go to bed and don’t answer the next time the doorbell rings. Other kids have school tomorrow, too, they aren’t still out at this hour.
Some Halloween Bandits aren’t funny at all. Be on guard for your children and their safety. Remind your kids that they are not to eat any candy until you get home and inspect it all. Trick-or-treat only in those areas where you feel safe, and know your neighbors. It may mean going to the same three houses fifteen times, but a safe Halloween is the only fun Halloween.