It reminds me a little of Christmas. It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” Da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da da da da! It’s the hap happiest time of the year!
Well you got my idea. It really isn’t all that happy for everyone. I would wager that even for those who have had good father’s, it may even be bittersweet for them. Many whom have had good fathers, have lost them through death. I personally am sick of all the holidays. My day was good with my son and husband. They traditionally go the the drag races and skip church on Father’s Day. I went to church and went to lunch with friends. When I got home for dinner I made rib-eye steaks and the trimmings. My son and I made the day special for him.
That is not the bad part. The bad part is that I really don’t have a father. I have a first father who is suffering from Alzheimer’s and a biological father that I have no contact with. Poor me. I really don’t want to sound like I am full of self-pity, which I actually am feeling some of it. What really bothers me is that many of my friends are suffering from having many different losses this year. Ones that have basically lost just about everything are on their way to a new job in another state. She just lost her father 2 months ago to death after a long agonizing illness.
Another friend was adopted and her biological mother has threatened her with the law if she tries to contact her again. She has no idea who her biological father is either. Many children have no fathers or have awful ones. Many have fathers in war or they are victims and casualties of war. These are just a few of the people who probably do not really have a pleasant time on Father’s Day. Yes I know we can have surrogates, which I do. I also know that we have Father God. He doesn’t have skin on him though. It may be a comfort but it is not the same.
After my lamenting and self-pity I will close with my Father’s Day poem.
I called you today for Father’s Day,
Stepmom said you are more confused.
They took you out for a little play.
Memory in pieces and more you have lost.
Pain closes over my heart,
Can’t bear to see you this way.
But need to see you even in part,
For soon will come the day.
You will not know me,
Assuming you still do.
Sometimes you call me Hon,
Have you forgotten my name?
You were never a religious man,
I told you we would get you next week,
God bless you Hon,
I knew it was heartfelt.
When they brought you home,
You have lived there for 6 month now,
You didn’t remember that that is where,
You both live now.
Sunday night sadness envelops me
More so on a night like tonight,
What will next year be
Will you have given up the fight?
Will you have left me?
Not just sadness for my self,
But the stepson who is orphaned too.
Not just for us,
But those who have never had,
A father’s love.
So tonight as I mourn the losses
The fathers I never really had.
I think of all the others,
It makes me really sad.