You’ve been hoping, praying, and most of all, waiting. Waiting for that one question that will forever change your relationship and your life: “Will you marry me?”
The holidays don’t make things any better. With marriage proposals being broadcast during professional sporting events, on television talk shows, reality TV and the like, you may find yourself thinking about the remaining holidays and wondering if the question will be popped during any one of them. Let’s see – New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, hmmm…
Of course, if you’ve been involved in a serious relationship for any length of time, it’s perfectly normal to think about getting married. However, if you are beginning to develop anxiety while waiting on a marriage proposal, you may start thinking and behaving in ways that could prove detrimental to your relationship. Before you jeopardize what could be a lasting union, you should consider the following things:
Holidays Aren’t the Only Good Times for Marriage Proposals
Not everyone likes the idea of Christmas, New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day proposals. Some people, in fact, Intentionally avoid proposing during the holidays because of the expectations surrounding them. Marriage proposals should be special and meaningful, and a holiday proposal, though magical for some couples, may feel too predictable or pretentious to others. By putting too much emphasis on a holiday proposal, you are likely to create unnecessary strain on your relationship.
Your Relationship May Need More Time to Grow
A marriage proposal will not speed up the growth and development of a healthy relationship. Of course, that’s the last thing you want to hear when your friends are getting engaged and married, and relatives are constantly asking when you two are going to settle down. However, marriage is hard work, and if you enter into it with only notions of wedded bliss, you run the risk of being terribly disappointed when reality hits.
A Proposal Is Not a Guarantee
Broken engagements, unusually long engagements, or on-again, off-again engagements are becoming increasingly more common these days. By putting too much emphasis on the engagement itself, or even on a wedding that you may have always dreamed of having, you are likely to lose focus on what’s most important: your relationship. It’s better to focus on the relationship itself and allow it to progress (or end) naturally than to harp on becoming engaged.
Either Partner Can Propose
If you feel confident that you are in a healthy relationship that’s growing stronger every day and the time seems right to propose, you don’t necessarily have to wait for your significant other to pop the question. Unless your partner has already expressed a desire to propose when the time is right, you can be the initiator. However, don’t do it if you are likely to resent your partner for not beating you to the punch. Proposing just to speed up the progress of your relationship is a bad idea. And you definitely want to avoid proposing to a partner who is emotionally unavailable, unfaithful, or abusive.
There is So Much More to the Holidays
While you’re pouting over not getting a ring for Christmas or complaining to anyone who will listen about not being proposed to over the holidays, you are missing out on so many wonderful opportunities to share special moments with friends, family members and even your significant other. It’s natural to feel some disappointment if you were hoping to get engaged this holiday season. However, don’t allow your disappointment to prevent you from creating wonderful, lasting memories with those whom you love and cherish.