This is a difficult question because it is different from everyone, but the one thing we must remember is that we are good people. Even bad stuff like this crap happens to people like us. We are just human after all. None of us is immune to the pleasures of human flesh, as we are humans. Humans by nature are magnomous, but sometimes one part of the relationship goes out of whack and the relationship spirals down a road that has no other end but away from the marriage.
It happens to all people no matter their lifestyle, the salary of those involved does not matter. Affairs hurt everyone in the relationship, the innocent spouse and the children. As they say, stuff happens. So what do you do if you are on the innocent side of an affair of a broken relationship?
Do not pursue another relationship within 6 months or a year. Take the time to heal from within and create a new person. No matter who ended the relationship, you are bound to feel less self-confident and you need to heal the bruised soul. Boost your confidence by doing something that you enjoy doing. Figure out what makes you happy this can help you get over the bumpy road of the next few months.
In order to move on you need to figure out what makes you happy and get there. Some people can do this in six months but some people take longer. I my self-thought I was ready to move along within 6 months and began dating again. While the dating went fine, I found my self unsure of what to do next. I was not ready to commit myself to another man who might end up doing the same thing so I withdrew from that relationship.
I had to realize in my heart that not everyone is the same and not every one is going to hurt you. Not every man or woman is going to have an affair.
In order to move on you need to figure out what went wrong with the relationship you just left and forge ahead. This is not an easy task by any means. This part means you admit what you did wrong, because there are always two sides to the story.
In my case, I was working the hours, which paid the most, because he could not seem to find a steady job. This took time away from us, and he found someone else to share the weekend hours. Now I will admit she was better suited for him, they shared mental illness and were both into self-medicating. As much as I would complain about him drinking, she would encourage it. She was more in tune with him, he felt closer to her and because of this, and they felt it natural to have their affair.
Although I suspected much more was going on then a friendship between the two of them, I had to see it for myself. I lowered myself to their standards and went on an adventure with them. It would turn out to be a revelation of sorts. I seen way too much that day that it broke my heart, and I realized what the full extent of their relationship was. It took me awhile to forgive them both, and that is something I had to do to move on.
They say forgiveness is divine but it is a hard road to take. I am glad I went through the pain of the failed relationship and I have moved on. I am a different person now days. I can smile, laugh, and love again completely but it has taken a lot of hard work to get to this point.