The best advice ‘new ‘submissive seek in the community will come from those in the organized community who are positive. Look for advice from those who define themselves as contented submissive. New submissive should avoid the malcontents. Your goal should be to develop a sweet easy going nature that will be pleasing to your present or future Dominant or Master. The BDSM community like all communities has people who wish to spread their negativity to gain attention or sympathy.
This is not to say that a new submissive should be naive and not heed advice from reliable sources. If you do not know who the reliable sources are then you should ask others who are most respected in the community. This advice should not come from just sister submisives. I do believe it is acceptable in most communities to inquire from a most respected Dominant about whose attention you are safe to accept. Most new submissive may not feel bold enough to ask, it is acceptable to approach the submissive of the Dominant and ask them to speak to their Dominant or Master to speak to you on the matter in a frank manner.
In cases where a submissive has served outside the organized community and has be exploited it might be pertinent to seek the protection of a reputable Dominant. You hopefully will find some protocol in the community for such situations or be able to ask for a less formal arrangement by which you can gain some help in screening potential new Dominants.
The advice of a wise Dominant is invaluable to improve your ability to serve and to protect your interests. On a practical level such an arrangement will increase your ability to find someone you are compatible with. Most
respected Dominants can size up a submissive rather quickly. They may know other Dominants who would be pleased by the qualities that they know you have.
This does not mean that when seeking the protection of a given Master is an act of seeking a matchmaker. Dominants are very busy managing their own households. You should be very respectful when seeking their advice on potential D/s partners. Many Dominants will naturally seek to introduce those parties they deem compatible.
It is hard to be a single submissive .Those between relationships may want to discuss the lessons learned when they have been released from service. You do learn from your mistakes. When reflecting on lessons learned realize like all relationships D/s relationships end because of the actions of both parties.
It does not serve your interests to focus on the who is more at fault in the demise of a relationship. You should avoid bad mouthing your ex Dominant or Master. Part of being truly submissive is accepting rejection with grace. On the flip side you should not bruise your own self esteem by totally blaming yourself. The depressed and bitter submissive is not attractive to anyone.
There is more intense grief sometimes in leaving a D/s relationship than a vanilla relationship. You made yourself vulnerable in the most demonstrative ways. Share your grief with a trusted submissive friend and try to leave the desire to gossip monger aside. Depression at the end of these relationships is normal and you should seek professional help if it goes on for too long.
Focusing on developing a sweet accepting submissive nature that will be pleasing to the One you serve is a good way to move on. Your mind will be focused on the positive. A positive attitude will become real for you even if you have to struggle at first to attain it. A truly submissive woman is cheerful and silently accepting of the flow of life while wisely heeding the advice of those that know better than her.