No one ever said marriage would be a walk in the park on a beautiful summers day. In fact, most of us were warned of how hard it can be to live with someone year after year after year, sharing one home and one life.
When any two people live together there are bound to be differences of opinion and clashes of viewpoints. That is actually more or less just a part of life and applies to not only the person you are living with but also any people you encounter in your everyday life.
However, when two people live together under the same roof day after day after month after year they will be most likely to fight with the person they live with over any other person in their life. Why? Because of the greater amount of time that is spent together and also because of the intimacy of actually living with someone.
Husbands and wives will not always see eye to eye. There are several aspects of a married couples life that are aspects that involve both spouses jointly and must be done. For instance working and paying the bills, or caring for the children and the house. These things must be done but many times are the aspects that arguments spark from.
Disagreements cannot be prevent. Feelings of frustration and anger are normal. Fighting is not normal. Fighting is resolving problems in an angry and frustrated way. Resolving problems requires each participant of the problem to remain calm and open minded. Communication is key when it comes to resolving problems with out fighting. Couples who can learn to resolve their problems using calmness and communication skills will learn to not fight at all.
The thing about fighting is that it does not make anything better. Nothing. Not at all. In fact, fighting make things a whole lot worse in most cases. Problems solving makes things better. Better at the moment and better in the future. Fighting resolves nothing therefore the problem remains and will again resurface and be fought about. Problem solving using communication and calmness will dissolve the problem through understand and compromise.
When the natural and normal feelings of frustration and disagreement first begin to creep in it’s the time to take a step back and really look at the situation. It’s also the time to calmly express your feelings and thoughts on the matter to make your partner understand your side of the story. When you approach it all in a calm tone of voice and fashion your partner is likely to do the same. No yelling. No name calling. No regrettable words. No nothing. Just pure communication.
When you communicate your thoughts, opinions, and feelings and your spouse does the same you will be able to understand where the other one is coming from. That’s where compromise comes in. Compromise can take two different extremes and blend them to suit each persons needs. Give a little and take a little. Give and take is key. Marriage does and will require some sacrifices whether they be sacrifices of time, money, or what ever.
Working out problems is the way to go. Fighting can and will only destroy a marriage. Remember to communicate and calmly express all you feel inside. Encourage your spouse to do the same and work things through rather than fight! Compromise on tough issues and you will in the end come to a resolution for all of your marital troubles!