At 1:10 am, I suddenly sat upright in my bed. I felt the sudden urge to write this article – the subject not mine, but given to me in my dreams. There in my nice warm bed, the call was impossible to ignore. This article wanted to be written and I don’t rightfully even know how to go about it. I just know that the Goddess wanted to be addressed and was not going to be denied. So I reluctantly crawled out of bed and went to sit in front of my computer in a cold house and that is where you find me now with a bowl of cold spaghetti to keep myself grounded.
Lately I have been struggling with the question if the Goddess exists, if indeed anything really exists out there and I know I am not alone in that question. Saying lately is not entirely correct since it suggests a shorter period of time, when in actually it has been several long years now. Here it is very imperative to clear up that even so I use the Goddess, I really don’t see it as any one Gender, but since I am a female I identify with what I understand the most. The Goddess has also been around a lot longer then the patriarchal figure of the Christian God. In the end however I don’t believe it really matters if you were to see it as a Hypo if you were to hear it, acknowledge it and follow what the universe or all wants from you.
I am a Practioner of Magick and with that believe in my own elemental and mental power to form and conform the energies of the universe around me. I am not an illusionist and could not make anything apparently appear or disappear in front of you. I guess you could say I am a Creator of possibilities, pathways and happenings on a very basic level. I have been taught and teach (again the duality here) that you can wish or speak /write things into existence. Perhaps that too is why it had become so difficult to acknowledge that there is anything out there that governs our life. Did we in turn perhaps create that which is said to have created us?
Now at this early hour, with a bit of a chill around my body I can not deny that I was called. I have been called for several weeks now and always have somehow managed to elude her. I have been so busy with my everyday problems that I have managed to just push her aside a little bit longer. Not now, I am busy. However in the same breath I kept making demands of her. “Why don’t you help me?” the question all too often formulated in an impromptu prayer (Yes even Witches pray). I have been starting to study the Kabbalah and also been reading a very good book about Anger Magic, all the while trying to get my life in an orderly place. Still something kept nagging at the back of my mind. I finally started writing into my Journal again after many years of neglect. My magical Journal at that – the one sitting almost forgotten on my Altar. My Entry was a blunt cry for help. I needed my Magick back which I had started to feel as gone and I wanted to be returned into my own spirituality. The cry was a very personal one, but not something unique to me by any case. I believe that many of us have felt that separation from their own personal spirituality for a long time now.
Somehow we have been too busy. Even so, those of us that go to church religiously have become lazy in their actual believe and worship of their own divine. Our World has become a cold place, a heartless place even more so then it was before. We, as the citizens of Mother Earth, have become complacent and a bunch of cowardly couch potatoes that no longer really stand for anything.
We allow just about anyone to walk over us, hurt our children, have everything taken from us and that includes our freedoms to think and speak for ourselves, our rights to worship the way we see individually fit. We are now offended by just about anyone and anything. If Joe down the street is a Jew and Jill down the street is a Christian and then Leslie is a Witch and each celebrates the Winter Holidays with their own decorations and days, these days they have to worry about putting them out. One of the others may find it an infringement on their own personal rights and complain that they are offended.
Have we all really become so detached from our inner God/dess that we have to take someone’s enjoyment of theirs away? Religion wars have been around from the beginning of time and will be until the end, but now it has really gone a bit petty and too far. Do you remember the constant News coverage of last year right around the holiday time when different religious organizations and individuals were no longer permitted to put our their traditional religious relics and decorations? Christmas Trees had to be removed, the Gomorrah (did I spell that right?), and several others.
I believe the Goddess has had enough and wants her Children to quit acting like the school yard bullies. You do know all about those bullies don’t you? Those cowards that just pick on those that they perceive as weaker to make them-selves feel like the big fish in the pond? That is exactly what we have become.
I am not talking about Natural Disasters, global warming etc. All those are natural occurrences that the earth goes through every several hundred or thousand of years. It is a shifting and cleansing process that is naturally done, it just scares us so bad because it happens so far apart that it feels like the wrath of God. Read your history books however and your science books and you will notice that it has all happened several times before. It also reminds us of our own insignificance. Go ahead try to bully nature and see what she will do to you. She will treat you like the little insect you really are.
We are called back to the divines table, to sit and be a family again. To each of us bring our own individual talents back to her fold. Every one of us has something to offer. Don’t even shake your head at me, I saw that. I don’t care who you are, you have a talent or a knowledge that someone else does not possess and you are hording it all to yourself. Humans spend endless time in trying to understand the meaning of life. Has it ever occurred to anyone that the meaning of life is to live it! I mean really live it? To the very best of your own individual abilities, to teach from that which you know and learn that which you don’t have.
The God/dess have put a real neat little system in place. We have decided to change it or ignore it exists. I personally see it as a cosmic barter system. You pay into it by your actions and with your own talents and someone else pays you back with their own. That is too why you don’t pay back, but pay forward. With other words, if someone does you a kindness (unless it is a loaned object or cash, you do have to pay that back) don’t return it to that person, but do one in return the next time someone else is in need of a something you can provide.
There is a time and a season for everything in every ones life and I believe we have to fall out of our path from time to time to realize how empty we really are when we are not filled with our best spiritual behaviors. When we think that we don’t need to believe in anything or anyone other then ourselves, we get lonely, depressed, mentally ill or even so aggressive that we think we can only achieve fame if we harm others. Our children are drifting in an ocean and we are no longer there to anchor them down. They reach for different gods now, when once we were the face of God/dess for them. Then we wonder why we they have become openly hostile. When the day comes that Parents have to fear their own Children, perhaps it is time to rethink parental rights and parenting methods.
How much more do we need to be slapped in our faces? I think when our elderly have to worry where their next meal is coming from because their kids are too worried about buying a new car, a bigger house etc then to bring them back to their homes and make certain they are taken care of we have forgotten the face of our Mother. When we would rather send them to an Old Folks home and forget they exist then to bring them to their folks home we have forgotten the face of our Father. Families are no longer families. We are self centered, egotistical and liars. Sorry had to say that.
The Goddess is crying – she is the Mother that has to watch her children hurt themselves and each other. She wants her Children back. God is angry because we have forgotten about him or tried to log him in a box. Our spirit is dying because we deny it food.
I believe we can ignore the call so long, but when your time comes you will hear it. There will be signs everywhere for you to see. Mine came in the middle of the night, to pen this letter to you. In many ways it really is a love letter to you in many ways from the God/dess itself telling you how much he/she misses you.
We are so worried about border control, immigrants etc. Does it really matter where you are from? Shouldn’t each of us have the right to work? The right to learn, to survive? Maybe if we were not so busy making everything faster, cheaper and more advanced we would have more jobs for everyone. When is enough enough? Does there ever come a point when a woman looks in the mirror and wonders what she really has become? When a man looks in the mirror and wonders whatever happened to them? When the cry of a child is a call to action instead a reason to turn up the TV a little louder?
Your call may come in other forms, mine came in the one of two talents I know I have that is in her service. May grammar may not always we perfect and sometimes my English words are a bit misspelled, but I have a voice that will not be ignored for long. My words will stay in your mind and even if you walk away from here thinking what a bunch of BS, they will still stay in your spirit and nag you.
The Goddess has given me a very outgoing nature and a strong mind, a will to teach and share my knowledge and wisdom with others and she has officially called me to arms. I am a mommy and I am proud to be so, that makes me pretty qualified to teach others.
When is your call coming and will you answer your spiritual phone? Listen closely it may already be ringing in the distance.
By the way it is never to answer it. Ironically she does have a callback number and she loves to hear from her children unlike many of todays Mothers.