So it’s been three months and your relationship is going great, actually it is flawless, you can read each other’s minds, and you never seem to argue, you feel as though you would marry this person if it came to it but suddenly the bliss is interrupted and your boyfriend brings up the issue of sex. Your boyfriend says he has grown tired of just laughing, kissing, talking and holding hands, he says that he thinks that the relationship should consist of more. At first your initial response is shock and you then become hesitant and your boyfriend then goes into the depressed and uninterested mode, you feel obligated, and you want to keep the relationship going. What do you do? Do you give in? Is it wrong to withhold a sexual relationship from your boyfriend? What do you do?
The first thing you need to do is put your boyfriend’s desires to the side and think about your own best interests, after all it is your life, your body and your decision. Listen to your conscious and your gut feeling, this feeling should be easy to interpret it is either a very cautious feeling or a very comfortable feeling, if you have to strongly doubt yourself or if you appear extremely skeptical than you are obviously not ready for the relationship to take that route. If your conscious is giving off a guilty feeling this too is a sign that you are not ready.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with refusing your boyfriend a sexual relationship whether you are young or old however, it is wrong to tease, or taunt, your boyfriend in a sexual way if you are not ready to engage in a deeper relationship, or if you have no intentions of ever engaging in a sexual relationship because acting in this manner will send to your boyfriend mixed messages, which in affect can take a toll on his emotions, so do not be misleading, be clear. You should be blatantly clear on what you want in the relationship if it is no sex then you tell your boyfriend no sex. If your boyfriend then decides to ignore you and he seems uninterested for a month or longer then you should probably leave because your boyfriend is demonstrating to you that the relationship should end, that he has no interest in you unless you give him what he wants and if this is the case do not give him what he wants, because his feelings for you are superficial and full of lust, and once you give in you should get prepared to travel a long road of hurt and deceit. Once you give in to your boyfriend’s demands his expectations and requests will get bigger and more extreme, and offensive, for example he’ll want an open relationship, or he’ll want to introduce others into your relationship, sick but true. Once you give him what he wants, after awhile you will become undesirable to him.
It is highly likely that if your boyfriend has a group of friends that he hangs with, your new sexual relationship will become the subject of conversation, and your boyfriend will probably talk about you in a criticizing way only to generate cool points with the boys.
A relationship this serious is only meant for people who genuinely love each other and for people who can see them selves getting married and maybe planning a family.
Why give away something so sacred to someone so undeserving and end up feeling used, unappreciated, depressed, worthless, and maybe even suicidal. You should always be in a relationship that is supportive and where the communication is flowing and solid, and each person’s beliefs and ideals are respected.