Sex tapes seem to pop up for people either trying to gain celebrity status or gain it back, a technique employed by hundreds of washed out rockers, young club scene kids, and Screech from Saved By the Bell. Scandal ensues and can either help bring someone into the spotlight or help the public rethink said celebrity’s image; for the good or bad publicity is publicity. Therefore, I think it is high time some celebrities who don’t need to release a sex tape for their image consider this naughty art form as a possibility regardless. Free of charge I am bringing some career advice to a couple of the public’s favorite sexy ladies; why? Because I care. Don’t we all just want what is best for Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel?
If Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel got together and made a sex tape, then they would be set for life. It wouldn’t matter if it was merely a 15 minute soft core naked kiss session the thing would make a boobzillion dollars. Both of them have probably already made enough money to never have to work again, but with this kind of cash they and thousands of their closest friends could do virtually anything they wanted. Imagine what sort of power a woman has to be able to have for that sort of control over society. Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel don’t even realize what they could accomplish with a little skin, with a little shower and rubbing of each others backs, with a little slow strip tease helping each other out of their clothing and then performing the sacred rites of the girl on girl tongue bath.
Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel may not be the hot cup of tea for everyone’s taste, but I’m not thinking there is anyone out there who would deny their sexiness if they walked into the room wearing only a towel. (Heterosexual females may fall into the small percentage of non-enticed) Only a towel and holding hands with each other and ooops there drops the towel…but what has given the actress from Sin City, Into the Blue, and Good Luck Chuck as well as the actress from Blade Trinity, The Illusionist, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, the ability to rule the masses if they so choose? Is their beauty actually all that awe inspiring or could it be that society has placed such emphasis on sexuality and the restraint of such. I am not saying I am a pro-advocate for spreading the love and gooey juices all over the place without emotion. However, the fact is you land on the sex offender list sometimes for peeing in public and the image of a naked human being has been labeled as vulgar. Dog’s don’t wear pants and the male of that species isn’t hindered from walking around with its red engorged doodle bobbing and peeing on everything. Humans have put themselves up on a pedestal above such actions, however, with as many silly rules as we could muster up. Therefore, it becomes a combination of repressed sexuality and animal-like desires mixed with the celebrity crazed media which fuels the fire that is the scorching hot duo of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, or at least their potential super powers as discussed here.
The world could be changed by a sex tape. The goofy system of money could be rocked and funds diverted to make a difference in so many places if there was a sex tape for charity. To the Jessicas let the plea go out: if not for yourselves do it for the world! Test the waters, experiment with the concept. Get together and film a Youtube smooch and gauge the views, Youtube would break, Myspace would soon crumble after, traffic in Times Square would halt, Los Angeles would have an earthquake, and dictators world-wide would see that if these two ladies can come together in something so beautiful why can’t they just love and let the world be beautiful. Everyone needs to pray to the gods that are Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, pray for them to come together, but don’t waste your time praying to be the camera man I already called dibs; that and massage boy. One tape…to rule them all.