I enter into the mind scape of spiritual transcendence, in which language and time does not exist. There was a book I read about mysticism and then a poem by Rumi, which spoke more to my heart, and something lost became rekindled. As for mysticism, I spend most of my time in presence and thought there.
Transition after transition have brought me to what I believe now. Humanity is scarred by humanity itself. There is life and there is death. in an effort to end our own suffering we create suffering for others. Near to us and far from us there is suffering we create. For my own part in all of this, is the desire to create less suffering and heal some of that which has been left behind.
In the world of thought, emotion, psychology and spirituality I engage wholly by sitting in meditative contemplation for long periods of time. Many often ask and do not understand why I sit at the cafe for so many hours. It is simple in answer. A mug of coffee, paintings and better music for thought than any other location. After all, it is in the mind that the true silence exists.
If I am a warrior I am a warrior of constant combat. I use the term warrior to express my experience as an Army Reserve Soldier Medic, as a martial artist and a human being who loves and cares about the individuality and safety of every person in this world.
One of the most interesting and personal experiences of my life was a prayer. It has become one of the most influential impacts across my spiritual growth. King solomon had a conversation with God and a prayer asking for wisdom. (1 Kings 3)
I prayed a similar prayer to Solomon’s. It was an intimate moment between God and I which I remember the feeling of to this day. The interesting aspect of praying that prayer was not that I was granted wisdom but that my mind opened and grew exponentially in terms of my spirituality. The prayer opened my mind to experiences which broadened and deepened my soul. I had fallen from those around me and in love with God.
In recent years there has been an openness of my mind through emotional experiences which would cause most to become closed or desensitized. I have refused to allow this to happen through experiences of great pain including, poverty, sickness, death, war, anger and indifference. I have kept my mind open which becomes emotionally devastating but deepens further the spiritual essence of self.
My actual religion has been stripped of language and history to become simple images of my imagination. My mind senses the christian god, Jesus walking by my side and the holy spirit as my breath and spiritual energy. There are the great queen (thought of as Goddess) and the great king (thought of as archetype) in a lakeside grass meadow. These images are my most sacred and intimate.
The way I enter and exist within the spiritual world expresses my spiritual identity as that of a mystic and my religious identity as a
Christian-pagan. The rest of me is love and action for others.