This article in know way is meant to harm anyone but only to make you laugh. With all the redneck jokes out there you are probably wondering what it would be like to live like a redneck or to be labeled as one. Well this article is your guide to becoming a redneck. With a few helpful tips you are on your way to being recognized with this wonderful distinction.
Turn your home into a redneck haven
With a few cosmetic changes to your home and yard you are on your way to becoming a redneck. Get a few junk cars and put them in your front or back yard. If you have a front porch get yourself and old refrigerator and put it there. The refrigerator doesn’t have to be a working one but it would be nice to have it working so you can put your beer in it. It can also hold the deer meat you shot and cleaned.
Next you can get you some old tires and scatter them around the yard. If you really want to make a good impression get you an old dog that hangs out on the porch with you. A few weeds will grow up in the tires to give it that authentic look.
If your screen door hangs on with one or two hinges that will also give your redneck property a genuine look and feel. A big hole in the screen will also add to the authentic look.
An old automobile engine up on blocks in the corner of the porch will also add to the properties beauty. Your usually guaranteed not to have too many sales people and neighbors show up on your front door.
Trade your car in for a truck
You can also get rid of that car and get you an old truck. This will eliminate any car payments and give you more freedom with your new lifestyle. If you really want to be authentic you can get you a gun rack for your truck and a rebel flag for your antenna. Only wash your truck once in awhile. Mud doesn’t hurt your truck at all you can let it build up before you wash it off.
Change your appearance
If you want to be a redneck you have to look like one. So tear off all the sleeves off your shirts and get you a tattoo. If your a women you can wear an old torn sun dress and no shoes. You don’t have to comb your hair just let it grow and hang. For the men you can wear old jeans along with your torn shirt. You will need a baseball type cap of your choosing. You don’t have to shave either at least not everyday. Your beard should have little stubble or you can go with the full beard look. Last thing you can get you some chewing tobacco and practice spitting so you can hit any target within range.
Well there you have it a new persons guide to becoming a redneck. It was only written to have a little fun and not to offend anyone. We all most likely have a little bit of redneck in all of us where we just want to drop everything and let our hair down. With this simple guide you too can be a redneck.