Chico the Parrot literally flew in from Phoenix today to meet with and console his childhood friend Ollie immediately before Ollie got carted to the slammer on alleged chemical substances charges. (See accompanying IMAGES).
Chico (full name: Chico Aranha), philanthropic Latino spokesbird for pro-avian political campaigns such as Feathered Filibustering and co-founder of the wildly controversial inter-species dating service Beaks for Buffalos, offered these sensitive words about Ollie’s plight:
“Some little bird told me Ollie was getting into a lot of trouble lately. Things like recent run-ins with the law, phoning me late at night asking for puppet stuffing, other calls asking friends for bail. In recent months I’ve tried to lend him a wing in getting his life on the right track – you know, so he could move up to a higher branch in life and get a better view of the park. Sometimes he’d show up in my nest unexpectedly, eat all my seed cakes and then take off without even pooping on a nearby statue… Just plain rude! But hey, that’s how friends behave around other friends sometimes.”
The Scoop on Ollie
Ollie, rumored to be the love-child of muppet Elmo and the hermaphroditic tuskless mastodon Snuffelupagus, grew up into a life of privilege marked by frequent run-ins with trouble. Earlier this year, while attending a wild party hosted by socialite Paris Hilton, Ollie reportedly started arguing with a Wookie over the sensitive topic of his mother and ended up checking into a local hospital with a detached arm, and complaining of some lost stuffing.
Ollie Charged by Police
Charges filed by the Indianapolis Police Department (see the Indy Metro police car in accompanying images) purport Ollie was soliciting puppet stuffing made with non-FDA registered dyes. Charges also make reference to cheap replacement buttons-for-eyes (used by old-fashioned puppets and dolls) crafted with lead-based paint that Ollie was caught hawking on the street.
Chico Offers Ollie Bail & Rehab
Upon hearing about these most recent charges, Chico immediately flew to his friend’s aid. Chico pensively quips, “I’ll see if I can flap up some bail money for him again. But only on the condition he checks into a seed-only clinic my aunt Polly runs on the north side of my park’s statue. Ollie’s pecking fun at authority has got to stop.”
Arraignment Details: Please Use the Statue
Arraignment on Ollie’s charges are scheduled for next Wednesday at the Marian County Courthouse. Muppets wishing to attend the arraignment are asked not to bring products sold to them by Ollie. Feathered friends in attendance are asked not to squawk or preen during the proceedings, and are kindly asked to use the statue located in the lawn adjacent to the court room. Wookies are encouraged to just stay at home.