I love my son to death, but he has recently developed typical toddler habits that can drive any parent nuts. Here I will list for you 7 things your toddler will do that will drive you crazy!
1.The “Whine”: You know the whine!The sound that I compare to Jim Carry’s line in Dumb and Dumber, “You want to hear the most annoying sound in the whole world”. To me this would be my son’s whine, a noise that has no meaning, at least not a meaning that I can comprehend yet. So you go over the toddler check list to see what could be bothering them:
Clean diaper? CHECK
Food & Drink? CHECK
Fever, teething, aches? Nope, CHECK.
Mommy and Daddy’s Attention? DOUBLE CHECK.
You’ve checked every possible avenue and still the whine!
2.The Fit: Outta’ no where here comes the fit. Because I take too long preparing snack, or I want to change a diaper. At any minute for any reason the fit rears its ugly head! In an instant an explosion of anger, sadness and frustration that takes the form of hitting, kicking, pinching and screaming.
3. Disregard: “Don’t close the door, leave the door a lone please. Leave the TV alone, that’s not for JT & don’t pick your nose, LEAVE YOUR DIAPER ON! Don’t touch the poop!” And so on and so forth from sun up to sun down, a constant endless path of redirection.
4.Food Toss: Sigh, sadly this happens nearly every day, sometimes during more than one meal. He’s done, he’s full but there is one more thing to do! Toss the plate, throw the vegetables and my favorite “look at mommy while I slowly tilt and push my sippy cup over the side of the high chair”. Now you have a dirty floor a messy kid and a back ache!
5. The Destroyer: News papers, magazines, important mail anything within reach that is fragile enough to be torn by little fingers is surly in danger of being confronted by the destroyer. See #3 for what happens immediately after the carnage takes place.
6.Jack of All Trades: Somehow my son has figured out how to call people, erase recordings on the DVR, change the tint on the TV to lime green, enabled Spanish subtitles and my favorite run a virus scan on the computer. Every time a turn around my poor ipod is being violated, my cell phone is in imminent danger and the keyboard on the computer has become a Yamaha drum set, crash symbols and high hat not included.
7.The Dare Devil: The Dare Devil has no sense of gravity. The saying, what goes up must come down has no meaning to our pint size offspring. I no longer miss amusement park thrill rides. Since becoming a parent I feel a drop in my stomach every time my son climbs on the couch, jumps on the bed or stands on objects that are not made to be stood on. Freddy, Jason and Leather Face are no comparison to your child standing fearlessly atop a tricycle seat, “look Mom no hands!”.