What is love? I wake up in the morning and I ponder this question over and over, until I’ve exhausted all meanings and their alternatives of what this simple yet profound word entails. I make myself sick from watching romantic comedies, and envisioning myself in those well plotted situations where in the end I am in his arms and there is a “happy ever after” for me. What girl does not wish for one, especially a girl who has never had a boyfriend, let alone went out on a date. And so the cycle continues as I forever dream that love will happen to me suddenly, and that I’ll know when I fall into it deeply.
The question remains though, how does one know when they are in love. I keeping hearing about this butterfly sensation in the pit of ones stomach, which I pegged as a bout of nervousness, and if its not that, it is the sudden shallowness of ones breath, as ones heart contracts and the rapid beating of ones heart is so loud you fear the rest of the world can hear it. Has it happened to me?? Yeah. But whether or not that is love, I do not know. To some this may be naive ramblings of a girl who thinks she knows love, but thats just it, like any other normal girl, I do think I know what love is, though I find solace in the truth that at least I know what infatuation is as well. With that, I can differentiate between the two,and perceive one from the other.
According to an online dictionary, wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn, infatuation is a “foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration” or it is “an object of extravagant short-lived passion”. This at least offers some clarity on what love means as well.
By now, you the reader would have already deduced the type of love I am referring to. It is that bottomless well in which one falls in and loses all sense of reasoning. When all your senses are centered on that one person, and you feel that acute pain, a stab in the heart when you imagine that he is no longer in your life. Its having that morning cup of coffee, and you feel his presence and instantly you feel safe and secure, knowing that nothing can ever harm you. It is giving and receiving of each other that is never one-sided. Its being able to enjoy the comfort in his presence and silence, and even that silence speaks volumes of unsaid words that are felt just the same. Its being able to talk,and argue, and fight knowing that its not the end, its always a beginning. Its the laughter, the way he holds your hand, his smiles and the way it crinkles the corners of his eyes. Its that brief stab of jealousy when another woman lavishes him with her wanton stares, at the same time it is tempered with unquestioning trust and devout loyalty. It is feeling and experiencing passion that far surpasses the physical plane, but in everything you do together, even the simplest things. It is seeing everything new as if for the first time.
But love is more than even that, and true this may still remain a naive rambling of a 20 year old who has never experienced love, never had a boyfriend, never went on a date, and never been kissed, but in the end, at least I know what I’m looking for.