While they say money and sex are a leading cause of discord in a marriage, some couples may disagree. In recent decades, as women have taken a more active approach in careers and family finances, there is another common discord matter among couples; that of household chores.
For many couples, seeking pre-marital counseling is often designed to improve issues of communication and, ultimately, work to resolve matters most often leading to divorce, that of sex and finances. But, in a more realistic approach, many marriage counselors are adding additional topics to the pre-marital curriculum, including cleanliness and household chores.
When considering marriage, there are many factors and issues to be addressed. Household chores are a big part of these issues. If you are an individual who is rather relaxed in your cleanliness approach, and your potential mate is not, this will lead to much discord after your nuptials. Therefore, before getting married, work through the matter of household cleanliness and layout a plan for you and your life partner to ensure the cleaning responsibilities are clearly delegated.
In most relationships, we find, women are more apt to be cleaner than men. However, with many women moving into the workforce, even as they become mothers, the cleanliness factor often begins to fall to the wayside, even leaving some men to be concerned about the amount of debris and clutter in the home.
To assist engaged couples in working through these pre-marital issues and discussions, marriage counselors often encourage the couple to sit down and outline a plan for household chores. With each individual clearly stating what they consider to be a priority as well as what they consider to not be of such importance, the couples are able to work through their expectations before walking down the aisle.
So what advice do marriage counselors have for engaged couples in terms of household chores and cleanliness? First, declutter your home everyday. While this is not a stringent cleaning process, it will rid the home of general clutter and paperwork, ultimately leaving less to deal with when the more serious cleaning of the home takes place.
Next, consider hiring a cleaning service. For many two income families today, hiring a maid or cleaning service is quite common. When considering the amount of time we lose with our busy work schedules, many couples are simply not interested in cleaning a house and would rather relax together. If this is the case in your future marriage, consider hiring a reliable cleaning service before you are married to set the stage for not only a clean home but also to assist you and your partner in freeing up more time to be alone.
As with any marital issue, the issues of cleaning, especially dusting, mopping, washing dishes and washing clothes, is often a leading issue of frustration, especially in the first year of marriage. When considering pre-marital counseling, discuss the issues of household chores and cleanliness as part of your key issues of discussion, right next to the issues of sex and money. In doing so, you can balance the three issues and, hopefully, begin your new life together on a happier note.