Okay, so you’re with someone. Maybe it’s still a new relationship. Maybe you’ve been together forever. Either way, you’re thinking about marriage and wondering, should you? By reading through these questions, and then thinking carefully about your answers, you should be able to arrive at a more logical answer to the final answer, should you, or not?.
1 – Do you really want to marry them? This might seem obvious, but sometimes people get rushed into thinking about marriage, or the question is popped before they’ve had time to prepare. Regardless, have you stopped and truly asked yourself if this is something you want? And if so, have you considered it’s other aspects, like do you want to be married at all? Now? Later? Do they want to marry you? If so, do you feel you know and understand their feelings and reasons? Sometimes it’s good to step back and look at not just the relationship, but what it really means to you, and to the other person involved.
2 – Do you LIKE them? This is another question that at first might seem a bit obvious. But on further introspection, you’ll likely find it’s not. The fact is, there are many people in relationships, including marriage, that love the person they are with, but when they think about it, find they don’t necessarily like them all that much. In some ways this is similar to how many people feel about their parents or siblings. You love them, because they’re family. But you wouldn’t go out of your way to befriend them if you just met them. If you weren’t with them romantically, would you want to be friends with them? Really good friends? Along those same lines, you might ask yourself if you’re proud of them, and proud to be with them, and if so, what are the reasons.
3 – Do you really know them? It’s always difficult to tell if you really know someone. Sometimes it might even feel like it’s impossible to really know anyone. But seriously, how well do you really know this person? Have you been through tough situations? Have you met their friends and family? Been to where they work? In short, have you been in enough situations that you’ve been able to see them at their best and the worst? And likewise, they you? Have you seen their finances? Their credit history? If you’re thinking of meshing the two, it’s good to know what you’re going to get. One more thing on this. Have you seen them angry at you? If so, how do they treat you? You must know that’s not gonna get any better after you’ve been married awhile.
4 – Do you trust them. This is a very simple question. When you ask yourself this, do you hesitate?
5 – Are they the kind of person you’ve always dreamed about. Most people have some idea in their mind as they’re growing up as to what sort of person they might like to marry some day. Forget about the looks, or the charm, or the money you thought might be involved, and ask yourself if the person you are with now, resembles the person you thought you might love back then, before you were blinded by love.
6 – Are there enough compatible issues between the two of you. While it may be true that opposites attract , it’s not always so true that they stay together. This is because people grow annoyed being around people that aren’t like them once the euphoria of first love wears away.
7 – Do other people like them? A lot of times people find themselves telling themselves “who cares what others think.” If this is the case with you, you should take it as a warning sign. If other’s don’t like your prospective mate, they probably have their reasons. And it’s very possible these reasons will become more clear to you after you’ve been with them past the infatuation of stage of your relationship.
8 – Can you see yourself in ten years, or twenty, with them? So often people look at someone they’ve fallen for, and see them for who they are right now. But who were they before you came along, and who will they be as the years pass. Who will you be after spending years with this other person? Surely it’s impossible to know. On the other hand, it’s not impossible to think about.
9 – Can you afford it? Sometimes it is the responsible thing to do to be practical. Do you both have an income? Are the jobs steady? Are either of you making enough to support the other if something happens and someone loses their job? Do either of you have anything saved for a wedding and honeymoon? What about if a baby comes along? It pays, literally, to think ahead on this stuff.
10 – Do you deep down truly love them? The biggest question of them all. Do you really, truly, absolutely, without hesitation, deep down, LOVE this person? Do you yearn for them when apart? Rejoice in their presence? Thank your lucky stars you found each other? Do you cherish your moments together, and smile and laugh a lot? Do you relish the thought of spending the rest of your days with them?
The ten questions above are not meant to provide answers. They’re just that. Questions. Only you know the answers, and only you can provide yourself meaningful insight based on those answers that pop into your head. If you are someone who is considering getting married, I hope these questions have helped you figure out if this is the right thing for you to do. Good luck.