Whether you’re tired of your job or ready to move on to something new, you might actually want to get fired. If this is the case, here are six surefire ways to accomplish the task.
Fail to Follow Directions. Arguably the most important quality employers look for in employees is the ability to follow directions every time. If you consistently drop the ball in this area, your days are numbered for sure. Want extra insurance? Complain when you’re reprimanded for doing the wrong thing.
Never Take Initiative. In these days of acquisitions, mergers and downsizing, employers look for employees who can pick up the slack when budgets are tight. A great way to get fired is to refuse to do anything that’s “not in your job description”. This shows you aren’t interested in advancing within the company.
“Borrow” From the Supply Cabinet. Using company resources for personal matters is a big no-no, and a surefire way to get fired. This falls under the category of stealing along with expense report fraud and taking company furniture home. This is probably the quickest way to get fired, but it could also land you in jail. Not recommended.
Surf the Internet. Most corporations are hip to their employees’ misuse of company resources, including technological devices like your computer. If, instead of filing reports and typing spreadsheets, you choose to surf the Internet, your boss is going to find out and issue a brand new pink slip.
Complain Constantly. Even if they think they’re getting a raw deal, employees should never complain unless they’re ready to get fired. Complainers are those who are unwilling to “take one for the team” and most companies consider them superfluous. Start complaining to your coworkers and boss about every little thing and you’re sure to be shown the door.
Talk About Personal Issues. It’s always a good idea to check your personal life at the door when you head for the office, so if you want a surefire way to get fired, start bringing up personal issues at work. These tidbits of information are sure to get back to the guys upstairs, which can mean the firing you’ve been hoping for.
Miss Deadlines. Companies operate on rigid timetables; when employees are late, it costs them money. Another surefire way to get fired is to miss deadlines, regardless of how long you’re given to complete a task. As a bonus, you can offer up zany excuses for why you were not on time.
Arrive Late. Leave Early. Any employee who consistently fails to work an entire day has a good chance of getting fired. If you hate your job, simply adjust the times at which you arrive for work, then invent excuses to leave early.