Among writers and speakers there are ghostwriters and devilish speakers. The former write speeches for others and the latter speak by reading out speeches prepared by others. Both rarely bother about the content. In this process their minds temporarily vanish and they go off the track. The writer feels no commitment for he does not face the audience. The speaker does not bother much because he places full faith in the ghost whom he thinks has done a very god job. Of course the audience gets their quota of laughter from this gift of the gab Sometimes this gives rise to interesting situations. Let us consider a case providing some entertainment for all of us.
Martin, a ghostwriter wrote a speech. He gave it to Henry who was to speak at a meeting. The latter kept it on hold for a day and on the day of meeting took it. He went up the dais and was seated. He waited for his turn, which was second. He kept the speech filled paper on the table concealing it under a leaflet giving the details of the evening program. When he was happily expecting his turn and thinking over what else to add, he got a shock. His predecessor, the President of the meeting, read portions of Henry’s speech and this unnerved him. Henry was helpless and was not prepared for another subject. He listened to the full text of the speech and found that the President had read out the entire material. When his turn came.he said.
” I am very happy to address you. One thing I assure you. I will never bore you with a long speech. My predecessor,Mr.President who gained access to my papers kept on the table has already delivered my speech. Since he has read out the speech I don’t have anything more to add. You all know what I wanted to convey. I must thank him for having done this service, which saved my time. Thank you.”
On another occasion another ghostwriter prepared a speech. It was a long one running to four pages. The papers were not stapled properly. On handing it over, the speaker rushed to the place of meeting. He was confident that he could read out the speech. His close friend who was very good at drafting speeches wrote it. The speaker waited for his turn. Then he took out the paper and read.
“In conclusion I wish to thank all of you for your kind cooperation and patient listening to my speech. I have never found a disciplined audience like you who are eager to listen to every word of what I said.”
The audience became restless. There was laughter all around. He realized he had not stapled the papers properly and in sequence. The last page came first and he read the conclusion. Having realized this mistake he apologized and went to read from the beginning.
He proceeded,” Ladies and Gentlemen, if there are no ladies say gentlemen.” Again the audience stood dazed. There was commotion. Our speaker realized that the ghostwriter envisaged the possible absence of ladies at the meeting. So he wanted to caution in case no ladies were present. That was why he inserted the brackets. But our speaker ran through the speech without seeing the bracket and the context.
Then he added,” I have already read the conclusion. So I don’t want to repeat it. Thank you.”