OK. Everyone’s entitled to eat what they want. In fact, they are entitled to speak of, or even write about, what they want. In the past, there have always been those who’ve deviated from the mainstream, but now deviates are the mainstream!
Evidence of Lunacy Points An Unerring Finger
Remember the day when everything pukey was called a delicacy? People knew that things like monkey brains, chocolate covered ants, raw fish eggs, tongues, whipped duck livers, and fungus dug up by pigs aren’t really delicacies, but eating these things and talking about eating these things put them in the limelight. To eat such rot made them sophisticated. Diets? You know the diets. Have you noticed that a large percentage of perennial “dieters” are among the most gargantuan of the populace? Eat beans. Eat carbohydrates. Don’t eat carbohydrates. We’ve even had grapefruit diets. Bet that kept people on the move!
Drink gelatine for the fingernails. Eat carrots for the eyes, liver for the blood, and oysters for the libido. People have lost it. You do know what the problem is? People here have too much time and too little brains. They don’t want to do anything actually intelligent or useful. Party hearty. They’re spoiled and when you’re spoiled you don’t take things seriously. Food can be prepared to taste good, but mostly food is to sustain life. It’s not to clean livers, not to strengthen fingernails, not to eliminate cellulite.
The Preoccupation with Being Cool
Besides, people are faddish. It’s become the “in” thing to be stupid. Wear your drawers so your behind shows. Wear muscle shirts so your hairy underarms stink things up. Blast your car radio so others can see how cool your music is. Dye your hair parti-colored. Speaking of that, has anyone seen anyone with camouflage-color hair yet? Wear mohawks, mullets, rattails, metal objects in your skin, tattoos over every millimeter of your body. Such nonsense had to spill over into the area of food. It used to be cooked snails, but now it’s Sushi – hey, that stuff is bait! It’s raw! Use it to fish with, not to put into your mouth. That’s disgusting! But Webster may one day redefine “disgusting” as “the acts of the sophisticates.”
Isn’t it time that people get real and return to a measure of normalcy? Bury whatever it is you are eating, and eat something normal. Make it special, but don’t make it strange. Here’s one suggestion. Try this sometime in the next decade. You might even like it:
French Onion Soup
Broiled Codfish Filetsprinkled ever-so-lightly with cracker crumbs
Boiled Potato with From-the-Cow Butter
Green Beans cooked with Pork Bacon
Bartlett Pear Halvesin Heavy Syrupwith Walnut Halves
After dinner: Sherry, Plain NY Cheesecake, Salted Cashews
Don’t desire to eat this everyday, but want some more ideas? Ask your grandmother!