I confess: I’m a little geeky when it comes to making a speech or presentation. I do a lot of research in advance. I write up an outline of thoughts, including an initial brainstorm of ideas. As I develop my speech or presentation, I ask friends and loved ones if they would mind suffering through a “test drive” of my speech or presentation.
Even when I’ve had occasion to be a bridesmaid or Maid of Honor, I’ve thought long and hard about what it is that I can say to honor the Bride and Groom. I’ve researched weddings down through history, brainstormed ways to break the ice in my bridesmaid luncheon or wedding-day speech, and even sought clever, out-of-the-ordinary quotes and one-liners to add some flavor and punch to my presentation.
Since it’s a big moment in anyone’s life, I try to keep it clean and upbeat because, after all, who hasn’t suffered through those awkward moments when the Best Man has made an inappropriate comment at the rehearsal dinner or wedding day? Sometimes, it feels like a scene right out of Wedding Crashers, doesn’t it? Except the Best Man usually doesn’t deliver his lines like Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson.
Indeed, the Maid of Honor can rise to the occasion, make it fun, but keep wedding jokes and comments appropriate to the occasion. Here are some of my favorite Top Ten Jokes and One-Liners for the Maid of Honor’s Speech, easily adaptable and sure to put a smile on everyone’s face!
- As Groucho Marx once said, “Marriage is a wonderful institution … but who wants to live in an institution? But, here, our friends [Jane] and [John] give a new dimension to what it means to be committed… to each other, that is…
- As Gloria Steinem once said, “The surest way to be alone is to get married” but I don’t believe that can be said about [Jane] and [John] who haven’t stopped tweeting since they met…
- Ben Franklin once said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” But, I believe [Jane] has done more sleepwalking in the past few months getting ready for her wedding day, so this might not be a problem!
- Oscar Wilde once wrote, “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” But, I don’t think he would have said this if he had known our [Jane.] She’s twice the woman I could ever be, and more than [John] could ever hope for.
- Richard Prior once said that “Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers…” but that’s something that [Jane] and [John] don’t have to worry about; as [officers of the court] or [newly minted graduates of law school] they’re already there!
- You know, Mae West once said, “He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of…” but I think if she had only known our [John] she would have to eat her words. Truly, [Jane] and [John] will have a wonderful life together…
- Groucho Marx once said, “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” But, I don’t’ think the jury’s out on this one: We are truly excited for [Jane] and [John’s] upcoming nuptials. What a pleasure it will be having [Jane] or [John] as a member of our family…
- You know, famous motivational speaker and writer Leo Buscaglia once admonished newly married couples not to “smother each other” since “no one can grow in shade.” But, I don’t think he ever imagined just how shady [John] or [Jane] can become when he/she needs to clear the deck to watch his/her beloved [sports team] play.
- You know, Oscar Wilde once wrote that, “Marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.” But, I don’t believe Oscar ever saw [Jane] or [John] on a shopping spree at [Cosco] or [other favorite store.]
- Will Rogers once said, “I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.” But, there’s no stopping these two [Jane and John]…
Martha Stewart Weddings
Emily Post Wedding Ettiquette
The Quotations Page
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