IN THE KINGDOM OF ILLYRIA-a faraway land,
A nobleman, Orsino, calls fate’s hand.
For Lady Olivia he pines away,
And dreams of her love and sweet nothings to say.
Alas, she morns for her brother,
And will not marry Orsino nor any other.
Meanwhile, off the coast there is a violent storm
Imperiling ship passengers who art safe and warm.
Viola swims to shore as the ship goes down,
And assumes her twin brother Sebastian hath drowned.
She seeketh employment at Olivia’s lair,
Alas, Olivia fears strangers; she cannot work there.
To work for Orsino, she hatches a plan
And cleverly disguiseth herself as a man.
She changeth her name to Cesario
And becometh the favorite page of Orsino.
She falls for Orsino whom she cannot pursue;
He thinks she’s a man; what will she do?
Like a faithful page and a carrier dove,
She must deliver to Olivia his letters of love.
When Olivia meets Cesario, she lifts her suitors ban;
She falls madly in love with her, thinking she’s a man.
The lines hath been drawn; the three dots doth meet;
The love triangle ’tis now complete.
But wait! There is another suitor in Olivia’s lair;
His name is Sir Andrew; now the triangle is a square.
Other members of Olivia’s house
Include Sir Toby her uncle, Maria the clown, and Malvolio the louse.
From Malvolio’s mouth foul words doth pour;
A prank is played on him to even the score.
Maria forges a letter in Olivia’s hand
‘Tis addressed to Malvolio, it maketh the following demand:
“I will be thine if thou wearest a stocking on each thigh;
If anyone asks, do not explain why.”
He weareth yellow stockings for all to see
Thinking Olivia will marry him and giveth him nobility.
Now the love square is no more;
Five dots hath now replaced four.
Meanwhile, Sebastian the twin is still alive
And believes Viola did not survive.
Sir Andrew is jealous of Cesario;
The fates demand he play the fool;
Believing Sebastian is Cesario,
He challengeth Sebastion to a duel.
Olivia intervenes, fearing Cesario will be slain;
She proposes to Sebastian thinking ’tis Cesario she will gain.
Why this strange lady wants to marry him,
Sebastian can only guess;
She’s rich and she’s beautiful;
What the hell; his answer is yes.
What will happen when Orsino and Cesario, his page,
Maketh their entrance on this dot-filled stage?
Will the stockings on Malvolio’s legs ever be peeled away
To reveal the naked truth of the characters in this play?
Will Viola and Sebastian be reunited?
Will their identities be revealed?
Will Olivia faint if she finds her love is a woman?
I will not tell; my lips are sealed.
Thou wilt satisfy thy curiosity
If this play you decide to read or see.