Mr. Corner Office has been giving you the eye for weeks, so you take him up on his offer for a night out on the town. Dinner went well, the movie was a blast, and the ride home was enjoyable. But when the nagging sensation that accompanies thoughts of him doesn’t go away after perfect date #2, you start to worry that there is something that you are missing. And most generally, that worry is justified. But in a woman’s pursuit to find a lifelong partner, warning signs are usually shrugged off as nothing more than early relationship jitters. On average, women who date more consistently are more apt to dismiss relationship warning signs quicker than those who only date on occasion. Ignoring these warning signs is not a smart move. Keeping in touch with your mind’s warning system will grant you the ability to quickly push Not So Mr. Right out the door before he becomes Mr. Staying Forever And Making Your Life Miserable. Here are some common warning signs that you should be paying attention to whenever you enter into a relationship.
He is just coming out of a relationship. Rebound dating isn’t always a warning sign of bad things to come, but it should definately be considered before you put any effort into becoming serious. If he is just coming out of a relationship, he may be using you to fill up his time while he sorts out his own problems before making a run for it, and leaving you in the dust. Always evaluate these types of situations, and don’t dismiss the fact that if he is truly the one then he will wait until he has healed before pursuing a new relationship with you.
He talks about his exes all of the time. Nonstop. Whether he is constantly comparing what the two of you are doing to what his previous relationship was like, good or bad, it is a definite warning sign that should be taken note of. In this case, his inability to stop focusing on what once was will hinder what now is, and in no time flat. If he trashes his exes while you guys are chatting, you should definitely head for the door immediately. His unwillingness to take any part of the blame for his past relationships is a sure sign that you will be at fault for any in this relationship. Besides, if he trash talks his exes, why wouldn’t he trash talk you?
Beware of a man who refuses to offer personal information about himself. Whether it’s refusing to give his phone number, e-mail address, or house address, chances are he is trying to cover up for something back at his place that you shouldn’t be aware of. Most generally it involves another woman, or family, but not always. He could just be a very messy bachelor who doesn’t want you to see his place trashed on any given day. These warning signs should red flag you immediately, be sure to take caution that there isn’t another woman that he is cheating on somewhere else. And if his house is just dirty and he doesn’t want you to see it? Then he should be honest with you about it. A good relationship has an open avenue for communication.
Your new beau is in his mid thirties, and he still lives at home with his parents. While this seems to be the latest trend for the 21st century, it is NOT something that you want in a relationship. A man still residing with his parents is most often avoiding the responsibilities of adulthood by trying to forge a living on his own. In very few circumstances, your man may actually be residing with his parents because they need constant medical attention. A noble act indeed, but it may make dating a little difficult if he has to divide his time between taking care of them, and taking care of you. Make sure you know what you want from a relationship, and whether or not he is able (not willing, but able) to give you what you are looking for. Another scenario for men living with their parents may include that he fell on hard times and is living with his parents until he can get back on his own two feet. But remain vigil, if he is not making efforts to reduce debt and look for a place to live as soon as he can afford it, then he has no intentions of doing so and likes his current situation. Give him a trial period, and if it doesn’t look like he is trying out, then kick him off the team.
Next in line to men who still live with their parents, are the men who are classified as “momma’s boys”. These are a very dangerous type to get involved with. Not wanting to stand in the way of his relationship with his parents, you step aside all too often as he spends time with them. Having a committed relationship with these types will leave you having in-law envy. Most times the parents will influence your man, affecting the decisions he makes in his life, which could affect you.
Watch out for men who move too quickly in a relationship. If he starts asking for commitments that you aren’t ready to make, it could mean that he is uncomfortable being alone, or that he needs a woman to help solve his issues. Always be on the lookout for guys who ask for intimacy or marriage too quickly, or that seem to offer very personal information early in your relationship that he should have held onto longer. If he has children, definately watch out for the red flag when he puts you before his children. These are all bad omens for choosing the right person you want to spend your life with.
Not all unshakable feelings that you get from a relationship mean that something is wrong with it. Sometimes, you might just have the jitters because you actually haven’t found anything to be leery of in the relationship. Every now and then that perfect relationship does happen along, where you will second guess every move you make because it is too good to be true. If none of the signs that I mentioned are in the forefront of your relationship (or background for that matter) then feel free to relax and explore what could be your last relationship.