At some point in their lives, for a wide array of reasons, most women decide that they would like to become mothers. Whether this child be conceived in a happy marriage, outside of one, by donor insemination, accidental or manipulative ways, the reasons that fuel the desire to become a parent are vast. It is quite often that eager parents-to-be overlook the life-long responsibilities that children bring in light of the more enjoyable ones- the fact that babies are cute, innocent and precious. Indeed they are all of these things, but they also bring about major lifestyle changes and potential problems.
Many people have children for the wrong reasons. In some people’s eyes, an ever-loving child is the solution to a variety of problems that they may have. The most important thing to consider before getting pregnant is that you are about to bring another life, another human being, into the world. This means that while you have hopes and dreams, so will that child. He or she will become a totally separate entity, and it is not fair to that child to be brought into a negative environment to be looked upon as the proverbial Band-Aid.
Below are a list of reasons not to conceive, and why the notion of pregnancy is a false solution to the given scenario.
*To Mend A Broken Relationship. It seems like a great idea at first- your relationship is failing, so it must need something that it doesn’t already have. A baby! The truth is, conceiving out of the hope to save your seemingly destined-for-disaster relationship will most likely end in failure. In fact, it may actually ad fuel to the fire that is causing your relationship to crumble, anyway. Some personalities just don’t work out together, and if your lover is cheating, they’re still going to cheat whether they have a child with you or not. The child in question deserves a loving family, whether his or her parents are married or not. Brining a child in to a situation that is already bad put a lot of pressure on that child- and that just isn’t fair to them.
*To Provide Someone to Love You Forever, Unconditionally. We’ve all been lonely and depressed at some point in our lives, and brining a child into the world to attempt to cure your emotional ails is once again unfair to the child. A child shouldn’t supplement what lacks in your life. These types of problems must be fixed before having the child- and both you and your child will thank you for it.
*For Revenge. Upset with an ex? Why not get pregnant and give him a lifelong responsibility to deal with and secure a third of his paycheck? Believe it or not, this is very common. Once again, it is important to remember and consider that the child is a separate individual, and using him or her as a tool to aggravate a lover is disrespectful to that child.
*To Win Someone Back. Again, note that all of these reasons are based upon the parent, and do not take the child’s best interest into consideration. The honest truth is that if they didn’t love you enough to stay with you before, a child isn’t going to change that.
*Because You’re “Getting Old”. This factor alone is huge. If the only reason you want to have a baby is because you probably won’t be able to in a few years, it’s probably not a good idea. Despite the fact that your biological clock is ticking, bear in mind that having a safe, financially and emotionally stable environment for a child outweighs age.
*Because Everyone Else Is. I don’t even think this need to be explained. Doing anything because “everyone else is” is never a good idea.
Becoming a parent is truly the most life altering event in a human being’s life. From the day that you find out you are pregnant to the day that child turns eighteen (and we all know it goes far beyond that), you are responsible for all aspects of that child’s life. Sure, babies are cute and cuddly. They also require a ton of attention, lots of nights at home, money to support them and buy them the things they need, lots of time and emotional support. If you aren’t truly prepared to offer all of these, chances are you are not ready to become a parent. However, when the time comes, you will find that parenting is the hardest and most rewarding job you’ll ever have. You’ll also be glad that you waited, if you did.