First I want to say that I am in no way making fun of nerds, geeks, programmers, gamers or anybody that goes into that same category. I have dated and am now married to a nerd myself. I am completely serious here.
A Little Background on Myself
I was married to a “pretty boy” for 12 years. Sure, everybody said how handsome he was but the trouble was, he knew it and tortured me by saying I was lucky he stayed with me for the entire 15 years that we’d been dating and were married. Looking back, I was never happy with him. I finally realized the error of my ways though and left his blond ass for a balding nerd powerhouse. The first date we had, I met him at the airport and he swept me up in his arms and gave me a dipped kiss that made me see fireworks.
There are a few things about dating people that have sedentary hobbies that you have to get used to. Nerds love to spend lots and lots of time doing their hobbies. Most nerds are even employed in that hobby. My husband spends 8 hours a day on a computer, then comes home, pets the cat, says hello to me, eats dinner, then goes right back on the computer. That would drive me insane. Then on the weekends he wants “some time” to play his computer games. “Some time” evolves into 9 hour stretches if you don’t watch out. Tell them they’ve been playing that long and they will say they only just started and that you are wrong. Make note of the time when they started playing for proof. The other thing is appearance. Nerds aren’t all that concerned with their appearance but they don’t generally balk at having help to improve that appearance. You may have to do a little work here, but think of it as just having to redecorate a really nice house. Also, be prepared to go on dates that involve things you aren’t really interested like The Star Trek Experience or things that have to do with their hobby. Open your mind. Then take him somewhere you’d like to go on the next date and open his.
Now For the Good Part, the Benefits of Dating a Nerd
I will come right out of the box with the top reason for dating technically minded people. Nerds appreciate dating a nice person so much more than pretty boys. Nerds are usually never given the time of day by girls, much less dating them. Generally, most techies have excellent personalities. When I came over to England to visit Dave for the first time, he treated me like an absolute princess and made me feel special and wanted. He made me feel beautiful too which was something that pretty boy would try to do but only after he made sure I knew I wasn’t as pretty as he was. I think that once you give nerd guys a chance and they get over their nerves, they will appreciate and treasure you. And please be worthy of that. Just because you are appreciated doesn’t mean to treat them like dirt or to walk all over them. Being in this kind of relationship means being an equal. Just remember, they are probably smarter than you, so just because you can match your sweater and pants doesn’t mean you are better than them.
Second, they probably have a good job. You can bet if their love is programming or engineering they probably have a good steady job and will never want for work. The exception to this could be gamers that play role playing games so much they don’t have time to work. That being said, role playing gamers usually love computers too so its getting more rare to find the “too busy playing Vampire: The Masquerade to work” nerd. They will spend money on their hobby to be sure, but they will also be able to provide a secure home. Again, please don’t take advantage. You shouldn’t be looking at dating a nerd just to see what you can get out of it.
Third, the conversation is fabulous. These guys are smart. That means they can converse with you about something other than football and food. They can also help you with lots of things from fixing your dad’s computer or what life insurance policy to buy, to helping you get your finances in order. Its so nice to actually be able to have an intelligent conversation with my husband about things that matter. Pretty boy just wanted to be silly and look in the mirror a lot and go shopping, for himself.
Next, and this is a pg-13 article so I’ll put it delicately, they like to please their women and if they don’t know how, they will either research it or be eager to learn from you. If that’s not reason enough right there, then maybe the last one will get your attention.
Finally, nerds get a bad rep because of their hobbies or how they look. On the inside, most tech/gamer/oddball guys have a heart of gold that has been undiscovered by all but their friends. One good example, the guy that isn’t the best looking that has tons of girls say he’s sweet but then none of them date him. They are missing out big time. That guy would be the one that puts out rose petals on the floor to make a trail leading to a candle lit picnic in the garden. I speak from experience here. Snatch that guy up before the other girls figure that out.
Good luck in your dating endeavors!