Sorry folks, but this doesn’t do anything for me. I have never liked the idea of plastering my lips right up against another human being’s. This puts me in a serious bind, because how many men DON’T want to perform lip to lip kissing? Now, I’d most certainly like to kiss a boyfriend on his face, such as his cheeks, chin, jaw, and in his hair.
I kiss my dog on his velvety head.
But I will never be able to bring myself to engage in the kind of lip to lip kissing that is so often seen on TV and in movies — you know, the kind that sounds slurpy and greasy, the kind in which the man and woman look as though they are chewing on each other. It’s gross. The sound is gross. Imagining how it feels is gross, and I’ll tell you why.
Just think of what you’re getting when you “chew on” someone. Imagine all the germs and bacteria on their lips, the transference of tartar, plaque and bacteria from their gums and teeth, straight into your mouth.
One of the most horrid odors is that of human breath. This is a major hurdle for me to get past. Men and women spontaneously kiss each other on the lips throughout the day, even though preceding these spontaneous kisses, they did not brush their teeth. How can people get so close to each other? Don’t they smell each other’s breath?
It’s impossible for a person to have continuous non-odorous breath, unless that person brushes his teeth every 30 minutes.
What if the person just ate? There was once an episode of “The Nanny” in which Fran describes what Mr. Scheffield had just eaten, after she kissed him. How utterly gross.
How do people sustain one of those long-drawn-out, slobbery kisses, without smelling each other’s breath? If I were to maintain a lip to lip kiss, I’d be holding my breath to avoid inhaling my partner’s breath. But what happens when I need to breathe?
If a boyfriend wants to lip to lip kiss me, I’ll have to insist he first brush his teeth, and I’ll brush mine. Then we can go. But wait, the problem is not solved.
I don’t like the FEEL of someone’s lips on mine. It’s just such a yucky feeling. I’m sure you’ve already figured out by now that I will never, ever get involved with a man whose teeth are prominent or stick out. A kiss on his lips would mean his teeth in my mouth.
By the way, in case you’re suspecting it, I have NEVER been forced to kiss anyone; NEVER had someone force his lips on mine, or anything like that whatsoever. It’s just that I have always felt this way; I guess I never got beyond my third-grade disgust at kissing; you know how grade school kids are about lip to lip kissing. They all think it’s “Euuuggghh!” and yucky and gross. Well, I guess I’m still there. But why?
Because this is the way nature made me. My aversion to lip to lip kissing is inborn, innate. It is not learned. I just have a natural repulsion of getting someone else’s saliva on my lips. And human breath is one of the worst odors around.