One reason so many marriages and other human relationships fail is because we look to one another, instead of to God, to meet all of our needs.
People get married thinking, “This person is going to be everything I will ever need, the answer to every problem I have.” But very soon the bubble bursts, and we see what we think is the truth, “No, this is not the one after all.” We blame that person for their inability to meet our needs and they blame us. We hurt each other and refuse to forgive and be reconciled. And so the relationship fails and another search begins – for the “right” one this time.
This search for the “right” relationship can only end in failure, as long as we are looking for someone to meet our every need. Human beings were never intended to fill the space in each of us that God has reserved for Himself.
God may have one perfect mate for you. Then again, He may have several different people who would be acceptable as a partner for you. But one thing is certain. Once you enter into a marriage covenant with someone, that person is the one God intends for you to live your life with being faithful to that covenant. God requires that you consider the one you are married to to be the “right” one. Divorce is too painful and destructive, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally for God ever to condone it.
What attitude should you take then if you are thinking of marrying someone? The only good reason for a believer to marry is because you feel convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that this person is God’s will for you, not because you have needs that you think this person can fill. A physical attraction to someone is no sign that this person is God’s will for you.
Whether you marry or stay single (and celibate), your relationship with God should be such that you rely on Him to meet your needs according to His promise in Philippians 4:19. He has also promised to supply your wants (Psalms 23). We should never try to put the responsibility for our happiness, fulfillment and contentment on another human being. This is an impossible burden.
But what of those who despite their best intentions and prayers, find themselves divorced? God does not withhold His forgiveness, His compassion, nor His healing from those whose lives are shattered through bad marriages and divorce. God forgives and cleanses us from all unrighteousness through the blood of Jesus, when we ask, according to I John 1:9.
It is our part to learn once and for all that there is only one individual in the entire universe who can fully meet our individual needs and that is our Creator. Look to Him first. Put His will for your life first. And He will see to it that your emotional as well as your physical and spiritual needs are met.
Copyright © 2009 Sandra S. Turner