Will he ever ask you to marry him? Has your relationship stalled? You have been together a long time and everything has gotten just way too comfortable. Does every birthday and holiday go by just for you to feel the let down of not getting that one present you have been anticipating? The ring. You can tell what he is thinking about the relationship from the last gift he gave you.
1. The pre-engagement ring – This means nothing unless this guy is sixteen. This guy is going to keep things the same for as long as he can. Something happened that he needed to offer a little safe guard out there against losing you. You might not even know what the event was, but he was feeling a tiny bit insecure and this “pre” ring was a re-assurance for him, not you. You need to strike while the iron is hot. While this insecurity is still fresh in his mind, you need to start showing some small acts of independence. This will bring him out of the “pre” mode and eventually will get you a real promise with a real date for the walk down the isle.
2. Flowers – Although nice and pretty and each type and color are known to represent different feelings of affection, flowers show no imagination. This is a quick and “not too much thought ” kind of gift. You most likely received this gift for an occasion, such as a birthday. Or maybe as a make up offering for an argument that occurred. He is very comfortable with keeping things as they are. There is love here, but the fireworks have fizzled and he treats you as he does a sister or his mother. You need to turn things around. Stop the predictability and put forth some mystery. You need to get him guessing again. He will take notice as he is trying to figure out the new unknown about you. After a while he will be on both knees, begging for both your hands.
3. Candy – If this is your last gift from him, you have a lot of work to do. He is old fashioned and unsure. It is not that he doesn’t want to pop the question, he just doesn’t know that he does. Your relationship has peaks and valleys where for a short time you feel everything is going in a great direction and just as you start to feel some what secure, there is a complete turn around on his part. It’s like he puts up a stop sign and then goes backwards in the relationship. This drives you nuts because you know what you want. You need to fight fire with fire and develop your own peaks and valleys with this guy. You need to stop settling for less and stop riding out his devotion changes with a smile. React -next time he seems to be stepping away , try stepping away yourself. Be a little bit unavailable. This will take some time, but if you keep with it the time he gives you a gift, it will have more sparkle, than scent.
4. Foot wear, such as sneakers – He cares about you, after all this gift cannot be shared with anyone, it is just for you. Hopefully he got you the right size, if not, this a totally different story. You two are happy together. It is a relationship where you both actually look forward to seeing each other when apart. He would marry you tomorrow if you asked. This is the problem. You do not want to have to ask. You want the memory for the rest of your life of the way he got down on bended knee. You are not willing to give that up and supply him with the memory of you asking. That is OK. You are however going to need to give this a jump start. You need to start romanticizing everything marriage. If someone you knows gets engaged or married, talk about it around him like it was the most wonderful thing you ever heard. If a bride comes on the TV while you are together, show your look of endearment until you catch his eye. This guy wants to make you happy, and if you show all things wedding and engagement make you happy, he will soon make your fantasy’s a reality.
5. Lingerie – This guy is more interested in his wants in this relationship than yours. All is not lost thought, because it is you that he has as one of those wants. You just need to bring him around into needing you too. He is someone that has gotten too much attention in his life. His mother probably spoiled him a bit. He might be the only boy in a family of girls, or he is an only child . He is still in the “fireworks going off ” stage of your relationship, which is very good and hopefully it never fades. Now back to him needing you. You should get more involved in the other aspects of his life. Become more of a good friend to him by involving yourself in some of his pass times, what ever they may be. Dress down and go to a ball game with him, or maybe plan a camping trip. By knocking it down a few notches to friendship, you have brought the relationship full circle. Once complete, he will not be able to do without you. He will “need” you to marry him.
6. A house hold appliance – whether it be a TV, vacuum cleaner, or a microwave – This is the guy that is thinking about you as his mother. Unless you purposely asked for one of these utilitarian gifts, this relationship needs some work. Life has become normal and almost mundane for him. He likes the way you take care of him. You make sure his laundry is done, dinner is cooked, and you keep a great surrounding for him. He is comfortable and not going anywhere, but unless you do something to change the way he thinks about your part in his life, this will get worse. Life is just OK with the two of you. It’s secure, but it is time to put some spice into things. Let him see the more playful and feminine side of you. A little lingerie might help. Get out of those lounge pants and T-shirts for a while. You can still be the care giver, you both benefit from that, but you need to show him you can be both nurturer and seductress. Once he experiences both sides of you , the next appliance he buys you will be one you wear on your finger.
7.Music/Movies – If he buys you an ipod, Cd’s, DVD’s , or something along the line of entertainment.- This guy values his space. He likes to be out with his friends more than he should. The time you spend together is great, but you would like more of it. His popularity with his guy friends gets in the way, because they are always there! A great romantic dinner that you plan will be crashed by all his pals, or they show up where ever the two of you go someplace alone together. Enough is Enough. He will never marry if he thinks these things will fall by the wayside. He needs these friend to boost his ego. He is funny and he needs his captive audience of friends to respond with laughter to all his jokes. This is something you will not change in your man. You can create a happy medium for the two of you. This is something you will have to achieve with actions on your own. If he knows how you feel it might put a bigger gap in your relationship. You will have to be one of the guys for a while to get him closer to a proposal. He needs to see that you fit in to a lifestyle he will never let go of. Welcome the friends and become their buddy too. Once you’ve achieved this more alone time will follow. If this is something your willing to do, it will pay off in the end. To win this guy it is alot of sacrificing on your part in the beginning. When all is said and done the next piece of entertainment he offers as a gift, will be a date to walk down the isle.
8. Jewelry – any type of jewelry – This is the prelude to a ring. This guy is thinking about an engagement, but he is not quite there yet.. He is going to need some coaxing from you. He is romantic and you have a good time together. He is the ladies man and the flirt. He likes to keep you in suspense when it comes to knowing how he is feeling about your relationship. You worry when he is not with you that he might be out with someone else as a love interest. He isn’t, he just likes the idea that you care enough about him to worry. This is his way of being reassured you love him. You need to turn the tables on this guy. Stop asking about his whereabouts when he is out. You need to act like you don’t care. Your insecurities show too much around this guy. You need to stop asking what time he will be h
ome and stop showing your anger when he is late. This only builds his ego. Now let him start wondering why you don’t appear to care anymore about where he is or what he is doing. Soon the jewelry he gives you will be a diamond and you will be on your way to saying those vows.
9. A stuffed animal, doll, or something that resembles a toy – This guy is going to want to take care of you. This might be hard for you because you value your independence. He is the guy that will open the car door, or moves aside so that you can enter a room first. He is gentle when touching you, but can be a bit aggressive presenting to the world. The only reason you have not been asked the magic question yet is because he is intimidated by your independence. I would never suggest you give that part of you up, cherish it. You can however, throw him a few bones, by showing that you need him for something. If you want a proposal, this is the only way. Don’t appear too needy, that will have the opposite effect. Instead of disappointing him with a “no” when he offers to do something for you, say yes. He will have some of his needs filled by you needing him. He will be asking you to marry him with in no time.
10. A piece of clothing – sweater, shirt, jacket or something else you wear – This guy is a bit controlling. He usually gets his way when the two of you have different ideas of where to go out for the night. Most likely the color scheme of your apartment, if you live together, is a color he picked. You watch the movies he likes and listen to the music he chooses. This is OK with you because you like to please. It makes you happy to see him get what he wants. This is not realistic and won’t make for a happy long lasting relationship. Believe it or not , this guy will pop the question once you get a back bone and insist on things your way once in a while. Start taking your needs into consideration and this change will appeal to him. Be a little assertive and the next piece of clothing you get will be a wedding gown.