Women are learning to be picky about the men they choose to pursue relationships with, and are thus thinking farther ahead than they might have ten years ago. This is especially true among college women who are thinking about getting married after graduation; not only is marriage a commitment, but it’s also the beginning of a family. Will your boyfriend make a good father?
Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to determine whether or not a man will be a good father by watching him interact with other adults. In fact, his interactions with children might be different than the way he would treat his own kids; men are human, and therefore inscrutable on a regular basis. If you want to know if your boyfriend will make a good father, your best bet is to talk to him about it.
Women start thinking about marriage and families and children long before it crosses a man’s mind. They want to know how the landscape of their future is shaped and what will be in the offing. Some men are forward-thinkers as well, but usually not to extent that women think about what will come to pass ten years down the road. So if you’re wondering if your boyfriend will make a good father, you can’t be shy about broaching the subject.
Unfortunately, many women don’t talk to their boyfriends or fiances or even their husbands until a child is on the way. This leads to confusion and arguments about parenting styles, and certainly can bring up issues if the future Mommy and Daddy have differing opinions about how children should be raised. This is why communication is so important.
Would you rather have a son or a daughter?
If your boyfriend comes back with an immediate answer to this question, it means he has considered it before. Men who aren’t interested in procreation don’t consider the pluses and minuses of either sex, and will have to think about the question at length if they answer it at all. Generally speaking, men who can answer this questions will make better fathers than those who don’t have an opinion at all. (NOTE: “I’d love either one,” is a good answer.)
How do you feel about spanking?
Most people have a strong reaction to this question, whether in the positive or the negative. This is a great way to determine if your boyfriend will make a good father and whether or not your parenting styles match. Talk about how your parents raised you and how those experiences shaped your own opinions. You don’t have to dump your boyfriend if he disagrees with you, but it’s a good thing to get out in the open.
Do you like playing with children?
This is a pretty straight-forward question to ask your boyfriend if you want to know if he’d make a good father. It tells you if he likes children at all, and if he would consider having them with you. Talk about whether or not he has nieces and nephews and if he enjoys hanging out with kids. Then broach the subject of having your own together at some point in the future.
These types of questions are open-ended, and are thus open to interpretation. Don’t use the questions to “trick” your boyfriend into saying something you might regret, and be open about your own thoughts on parenting. Your boyfriend might make a great father even if he’s never been around children, or even if the prospect scares him to death. If you open the lines of communication, however, you’ll both be better off.